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Back to Work

Workers CompI’m glad to finally be back to work at my night job.  I just wish this nightmare was over.  Turns out, it’s far from over.  The whole ordeal with this situation has been a disaster from the start.  It took a couple of weeks just to get the paperwork moving.  Then another couple of weeks to get the insurance company to put it together.  Nearly five weeks to get a check for missed income and an MRI to even look at my knee.  That whole time, if the meniscus in my knee had been torn, it would have likely healed incorrectly needing some serious surgery.  Thankfully it was just really tweaked.

Finally at that point I get Physical Therapy and some meds to take the swelling down quicker.  Things finally start moving and I’m almost at the end of my boredom rope by this time.  Total time off work was 7 weeks and 3 days.  I receive a couple of checks for income from the insurance company.  My understanding was they take the highest 39 weeks of pay and base my income on 66% of that.  Well for several weeks, I was working full time and even getting over time on occasion on top of working my day job.  I was a working fool until it started to really wear me down.  So I backed off to 3 – 4 nights a week at best.  And that’s where I’ve been since.  So when I got the checks, I assumed it was based on the time I was working like mad.

Today the insurance company tells me they over-payed me.  To the tune of almost $800 and they want the money back.  I just started working decent hours this week.  I was cleared to go back to work on July 27th.  Though for the first 11 days I managed to get a whole 4 hours.  I might have gotten 9 hours had I not already been doing paint work on my truck.  In any case, that’s horrible, but people didn’t want to give up their hours for me.  I get that.  Sucks, but I get it.  Now that I’m managing to get hours, I’m going to have to work more to pay the insurance company because they made a mistake.  They admit the mistake, but I have to pay for that mistake.  I wish I had more of a choice, but even if I get a lawyer, what would that do?  I’d just have to pay the lawyer too.  I can’t afford that.  If I’m lucky, I might be able to pay $50 every two weeks when I get paid from the night job.  That would take me nearly 9 months to pay off.  Providing I can keep the hours I’m getting.  There are people who had to step in for me while I was out.  They want hours too.  On top of that, while I was cleared to work, I still have some pain and swelling.  I still wear a knee brace to work.  A brace I’m hoping the insurance company remembered to pay for.  Can’t say I’m trusting this AccidentFund company much.  As my friends would say, they cocked it up from the start.

Why does something always have to fuck up Christmas?  😡

There are days…

BenderThere are days.  Quite frequently it seems, that I share the opinion of one of my favorite cartoon characters, Bender.  There are an awful lot of people on this planet that piss me off to no end!  Self-centered, self-involved and have an over abundance of self-entitlement.

Most days I just mutter to myself and move on.  Sometimes, I find myself talking loud enough to let them know I’m dissatisfied with their flagrant disregard for everyone else around them.  Once in a great, rare occasion.  I let them know face to face that they are in fact a dumb-ass!

I could sit here and list things for hours on end.  I won’t.  Though I may hit on things that I’ve mentioned before.  If so, well tough.

Of course there are the people who text and drive.  That should’ve gone without saying.  Though, no matter the ads, no matter the research, no matter the proof…  It never changes.  It’s an addiction.  Much like smoking, many people don’t want to quit.  No matter who has been hurt or killed by it.  Anymore, jobs preach no texting at work, but it happens anyway and they turn a blind eye to it.

The one that got me to write this was I can’t count the number of times I’ve stepped aside or held a door or assisted someone who had a handicap.  Especially if it’s a recent injury.  Like folks on crutches or in wheelchairs.  Folks who aren’t long term and unlikely to get upset at a person for trying to be nice.  (Folks, such as ones in powered chairs, who are long term sometimes get upset when you try to help them.)  I go to the store, needing groceries.  I get to the door on my crutches and people are oblivious to me and won’t let me go through.  Once I finally get inside, and no one will move out of the way.  I have to stand and wait while they ignore my repeated spoken, “Excuse me.”.  What the hell ever happened to people being nice?  I don’t want much, just to get what I need quickly so I can get off my leg and rest it like I’m supposed to do.  I’m sorry, but I need food to survive, and don’t have anyone else to do my shopping.  If only I had a good enough memory to pay back these fuckers when I see them in need.

Other people that make me hate the human race are:

  • Lazy fuckers who can’t put trash in the can or walk a few feet to put a cart in a corral.
  • People who call for tech support and don’t listen to anything I tell them.
  • People who fill their yards with trash making my neighborhood look like crap.
  • People who talk on their phones while you’re trying to interact with them.
  • Assholes who don’t know what that stem on the left side of their steering column is for.
  • People who don’t know what that red octagon sign on the corner of streets are for.
  • People who don’t know that a stop sign is an octagon.
  • peoople who dont know what punktewation and capitaizationand spelling are (Yes, that was intentional.)
  • People who want help, won’t tell you anything about the problem to begin to help them.  Then complain that you’re not helping them.
  • People who don’t know how to safely handle a gun.

The list goes on and on…
… and on…

And people wonder why I want to breed flying monkeys and take over the world 😈



DislikeI still hate Facebook.  Always have and always will.  But I’m forced to use it, so I take advantage of it the best I can.  Many people have made it their only means of communication.

However, do you remember when people talked to each other?  I mean actually called up, or came over and talked about a trip they took or when their child did something special?  Now it’s a low grade picture and a caption shared among certain groups or possibly publicly.  If you’re lucky, you can get a couple of horribly worded paragraphs.

OK and sure you can “like” something.  Or even now we can laugh, be thoughtful, angry, shocked and love something.  Where’s the “fuck you” button, or don’t give two shits button?  I bet they’d get used more than the others.

But here’s where you really find out who gives a shit and who don’t.  People who used to call and tell you I love you, or want to talk about their life, now just wait for attention from everyone to see who wants to give them a like or some pity comment.  Or wait for that praise on how pretty your 5000th selfie is.  Seriously, for some of you beauty is only skin deep.

When a special occasion happens like a birthday, graduation, wedding or a “first” of some sort.  Such as your baby’s first word or step.  Is now a mere photograph or video online reduced in quality for easy loading on grandma’s phone.  No one shares actual high quality photos or videos anymore.  As an example.  I have two kids who are married.  Wedding photos?  Why you can look at them on Facebook!  Low grade, grainy quality, good luck putting them up on the wall and don’t look too closely as they are pixelated from trying to “blow them up” to fit a 5×7 photo frame.  Same thing goes for my grand children.  Can’t get an actual photo to hang up, just have to right click and save from Facebook.  I live a little over 30 minutes away now.  But unless I go and take pictures myself, this is all I get.  Sadly, I generally am not there when something special happens.

Video’s are even harder to deal with.  Your phone may be able to record in High Def or Ultra High Def, but good luck getting Facebook to allow you to download that quality.  Phones generally automatically reduce quality when uploading to social media.  Again, so you can look at it on a portable device quickly.

I remember a few short years ago, I tried share a life event on Facebook.  Mostly because I was very weak and could barely speak cognitively and my mom didn’t know most of the phone numbers needed to contact folks.  I got a lot of angry people telling me finding out on Facebook wasn’t cool.


Though I could say the same about finding out a month late that my step daughter was pregnant for the second time.  By chance I was scrolling through old posts of hers.  Which is hard to do when you have to fish for anything worth while among the bat shit crazy list of things I could care less about.  Foamy says it best here:

Unfortunately I catch myself sharing things that I’m sure some of you don’t care about.  Before Facebook, this would’ve never been known that I have such feelings about stuff.  Though I don’t apologize for who I am.  I know I’ve lost a few “friends” because of this.  If you can call Facebook friends real friends.  Some of these people I don’t really know, they just added me to their list or follow me.  Though, I do try to keep things I share to a minimum.

Honestly though, I miss things the way they used to be.  Family gatherings, talking on the phone or in person, and sharing photos and videos in ways that they can be appreciated by showing them off on a wall or full size screen.  Mobile isn’t great for people with fading eyesight.

What a Weekend

Moved HostsSo it turns out my websites were hit with some Website SEO Spam a few weeks back.  Taking various steps to handle it included installing better security software for my websites.  This led to realizing that the web host I was using, while good tempered folks, had features disabled that most web hosts have enabled.  Thus breaking my security software.  Not enough to stop it working but to hinder it working at full strength.  After asking politely to have the feature enabled, they suggested that my $7 shared hosting should be upgraded to a low end VPS for $13 plus cPanel expenses on top of it.  Which would put me at about just under $30 a month to run my websites that don’t make any money.  I pay out of pocket to have my individual space carved into the internet.  I decorate it exactly how I want, and I can be who I want to be here.  I don’t have to worry about Facebook removing my content if someone gets butt-hurt by it.  That being said, I spent the majority of my time off this weekend moving my sites to a new host that provides what I need technically.  They cost me $12 a month.  It will be a month or so to see if I stay.  So if things feel sluggish or broken, let me know.

A few days ago, I ordered a 3 zone cymbal pad for my drum kit.  A Roland CY-13.  I found it on Walmart.com for $199 from a partner seller called GigaSonic.  That’s $40 less than anyone else and I happen to have a Walmart Card.  So I jumped on it.  The lesson here kids, is do your research of the partner company before ordering.  Don’t just assume Walmart has your back.  As you see, last Friday a large box ended up on my doorstep.  It was from Amazon.  I didn’t order anything from Amazon.  It was addressed to me from Everything Music.  Of course I became confused.  Especially when I opened the box and found a Roland KD-9 Kickpad.  I didn’t order that.  It’s sort of the ballpark.  They are both Roland and both go to my drum kit.  So I wasn’t sure if someone else sent it to me.  Naturally I emailed the company via Amazon and as well emailed the other via Walmart.com.

It turns out they are the same company, doing business under different names on different online retailers.  Both sadly have some bad reviews from some very angry customers.

By 4pm Friday I had a UPS return label and had the item on it’s way back to the seller.  This is about the time I found the reviews.  As of today it’s in Illinois.  While I was hoping the company would simply ship out my cymbal pad.  They did not.  In fact it dropped off of Walmart.com and it’s now listed at the normal retail price of $239 that everyone else is selling it for.  Under a different company called Music123.  Which, guess what, also has some bad reviews.  Same company?  I’m beginning to think so.  Now I’m hoping I actually get the refund they owe me.  Granted, I have to wait for them to get the part back.

To top it all off, my left shoulder has been hurting for weeks with added numbness to my whole arm and hand.  This weekend was hard to do anything.  Especially sleep decently.  I fear I may have a pinched artery in my shoulder [Thoracic Outlet Syndrome] (according to initial thoughts of my Chiropractor today).  I will have something confirmed as soon as I can with my regular doctor.

Aspen Village

ScruffyIt’s been 10 months since I took over the lease of this place.  In two more months I have to decide to renew it or move.  Darla will be moving back to Bay City in February.  I know the rent will go up here, I just don’t know how much for sure yet.  Lots of ifs around here.  I’d like to think the management will want me to renew my lease.  I keep the place spotless, I pay my rent on time (early usually) and I am never the cause of complaints from other people in the neighborhood.  As far as I know that is.  I’m sure about the first two things as the maintenance guy has told me on the two occasions he’s been here how happy they are about these facts.  I keep the grass cut, the snow cleared and the driveway swept up when it’s not raining.  I mean I pay thousands of dollars to live here, I want it to be a nice place to come home to and take care of it.

Like any decently run rental, when I took over the lease; there is two weeks I have to fill out a form about what I find wrong and submit it to be fixed.  Having lived here a year and some months prior to taking over the lease, I already had a list prepared.

Here’s the list I submitted for work requests:

  • Large soft spot in floor by vent in secondary bedroom
  • Huge soft spot in floor left of stove counter
  • Large soft spot left of the front door
  • Bow in big window in living room, bigger in summer (lets in bugs, let’s out heat or cooling) – He put some foam in the space.  Not actually a fix.
  • 2x broken mirrors on closet doors main – More or less a report of it so I don’t get charged for the damage.
  • Exhaust vent over stove, the fan has fallen and now just grinds on the guard when turned on
  • Big soft spot in floor by vent in master bedroom
  • Large soft spot in floor by window in master bedroom
  • Sliding glass door leaks. Left edge – Same foam he used on the window.  Not really a fix.
  • Soft spot in floor, in front of washer

Which means in over two years of being here, these issues still exist.  What annoys me is if they want me to renew, why has the maintenance man only been here twice to work on anything?  Only two of the list items have been “fixed”.  It’s not like I’m the tenant on South Lucy drive that has a pathway in his living room through mountains of garbage, food and cat piss that could cause you to gag while standing on his front porch.  (I have to go there once a week due to my night job.)  Some of the places in the back of the park are beyond gross.  I could see why they don’t do a lot of maintenance back there.  Though I’m surprised they don’t evict many of these people as they abuse the places they live in.

Just a few RANTS!

Just a few RANTS!If you think I follow Foamy for a reason.  You’d be right.  His famous rants and sense of logic are shared by my own feelings and thoughts.  Right now there are a few kinds of people pissing me off.  Here’s a few of mine lately that have been driving me to the edge of insanity…

Dumbasses with Smartphones

I can’t wait to find a new job.  Lately the night job has become infiltrated with teenagers and some adults who have an over-the-top addiction to their phones.  I came in one night to find six employees standing in a circle all looking at their phones rather than doing anything they get paid to do.  I wanted to take a picture of the non-productiveness, but then I’d just be number 7.  The other night I walked in on a customer just standing at the counter.  He was coyly watching three employees talking and playing on their phones.  As I walked passed him to go behind the counter, I asked loudly if he hand been helped.  He knew what I was doing and replied loudly that no, he had been simply watching the same people for several minutes while we waited to be helped.  I helped him and by then, they had magically moved to different places in the store and started on his order.  Why should we put up with this nonsense to have employees?  As I’ve said before, I’d never make it as a manager in today’s world.  Because I would be putting foot to ass, proverbially speaking, by putting a stop to all this wasted labor costs.

I certainly don’t like having to do something while others stand about gawking at their tiny screens making sure their friends status updates get noticed right away.  Of course if I say anything about it, I’m likely to cause trouble and be fired.  I hate having to drop hints, as it makes me disliked among the offenders.  Clearly the current management don’t care as a couple of them do it too.  These kind of people keep getting hired.  I guess that makes me the the problem.  God knows I’d love to resolve it by finding something new for a job.  I never expected it to last so long.  Though I do pretty good as the most customers tip me, so I guess they like me.

I do average $16 per hour.  I have yet to go below $12 per hour.  One night it went as high as $38 per hour.

Still, I don’t understand why this is allowed.  Sure we all are guilty of doing it a little.  However, when people are ignoring what they are getting paid to do.  As well as doing it for long periods of time, that’s BS.  It’s a real shame when the overweight guy with heart problems works more than healthy people do.

The Men’s Room

Men, stop being a bunch of lazy Gits!  That was the only word I could find to not be vulgar.  It’s not nearly as vulgar as what the majority of you do to a public restroom.  I would have to say that “Public Piss Syndrome” isn’t the only reason many of us avoid the Men’s Room.  It’s because we know we’ll walk into a room that stinks to high hell and is absolutely gross with piss and shit all over the toilet.  Trash on the floor and a sink that you’d be surprised to find dirty, because by the looks of the rest of the room, so you wouldn’t think it was getting used.  There are a lot of gross and lazy bastards out there.  Sure the Women’s Room isn’t always roses and candy either.  There are obviously some really inconsiderate so-called ladies in the world too.  Though the Men’s Room takes the prize by a landslide.  Or in some cases, a shitstorm…

Clearly many of you are not NBA All Stars or you’d hit the waste basket.  But do you bother to pick up your missed shots?  Hell no.  You lazy twats leave it on the floor for someone else.  You don’t wipe the toilet off when you miss or make a mess.  You don’t bother to tell anyone if the trash is overflowing.  You just let it fall.

Do you do this kind of thing at home?  If so, I hope your significant other eventually snaps and clobbers you in the face with a baseball bat.  It’s just obnoxious to be that lazy and inconsiderate.  Not too mention, I’d never want to be invited to your house.


There was a third rant, but I’ve gone on so far with these I can’t remember it.  Stupid old age.  I’ll have to save it for another post someday.

Oh… Darla also feels this way 🙂

Too simple to bother with…

Ah the beginning of the month.  That time where I take a bunch of calls for the first five days from customers who got that nifty notice our system sends out.

This is an automated note to let you know that the expiration date of the credit card number you have on file, with us, has passed, or will shortly. In almost all cases, your credit card company has sent you a new card, with a new expiration date. Please contact our office and update this information as soon as possible.

It triggers on the first of the month, when the month and year matches the month and year found on our customers credit/debit cards expiration date.  This gives the customer an entire month to call us with their new credit card information.

So the phones are busier from the 1st to the 5th of the month with customers calling to update their info.  Some however, despite the fact we notify them, don’t call until the payment fails on the following month.  Even though the paper included with their new card also says, “Please update your information with your billers.”.  They just activate their cards and move on.  Life is far too busy to be bothered with simple, but mundane tasks.

Then we get much nastier calls during the following month when their payment fails.  Such as:

My card is the same!

Hey, now it’s a month later.  You’ve forgotten about getting your new card.  Sadly our system won’t accept payment if the date on the card doesn’t match what we have.  Especially if it is passed the expiration.  Sure your card number may have remained the same, but not the expiration date.  Now that date has come and gone and we can no longer process your payment.  Like it or not, a simple phone call is needed to update this with us.  Please though, leave your attitude out of the conversation.  It’s not our fault you didn’t call.

Only the date has changed.

Sure, OK.  No problem.   Many times this is the case.  However, when you call, we always ask the same questions so as to keep card processing failures from happening.

  • Does the name on the card still appear as [insert customer name here], such as Henry R Dependett?
  • Is the card still a [MasterCard, Visa, American Express or Discover]?
  • Does the card still end in [last four digits], 5432?
  • Do you still live at [customer address on file]?

And you can hear the annoyance in the customer’s voice.  Like asking these few questions has somehow interfered with their busy day.  I’m sorry, I’m trying to be thorough so you won’t have to call back angry because your payment was rejected.  I’m not being stern, I’m not raising my voice.  I’m simply asking questions to help you help yourself.

No matter what, some still call back later pissed off because they got another email from us saying their card payment was rejected.  If you look at the images above carefully, you’ll see why.  Generally always happens with the 5 being changed to a 2.  Or vise-versa.  I guess they look similar.  One number is all it takes to make a card fail.  However, I’ve taken calls where the last 8 numbers are different even though I asked them on the previous call if it was right.  I guess they were still looking at the old card.  Still I don’t know why they take it out on me.  I asked.

My bank should’ve notified you!!

Uh… No.  They don’t do that.  That’s why when they send you a new card, there is a paper attached with remindful statements such as, “Please update your information with your billers.”.  Just saying, reading is fundamental.  Again, park your attitude.

I mean I get it.  Some people just can’t be bothered with taking an hour or two out of their busy day to call 3 – 10 businesses or logon to 1 – God-knows-how-many websites and update their credit card information.  You have these setup so you don’t have to call them, or log on to them every month to simply make a payment.  That’s too much work.  Golly gee.  Sorry your life is so horrible.  Goodness knows we try to help by sending you reminders.  Your bank gives you pointers too.  We try to be thorough on the phone.  Yet no matter how hard we try, some folks still call with fire in their eyes and hate in their voice because something went wrong and they got a nasty email or their service was cut off for nonpayment.

Then & Now

Then & NowI’ve been a manager before at a couple of different places.  Handling customer concerns, training new employees, hiring and firing and disciplinary measures when needed.  There’s no way I could do that in today’s world.  Even if it wasn’t for the worry of having another heart attack due to the stress it can cause in a fast pace food chain.  If I were in excellent health I would simply be a very hated individual.  Mainly because I would expect the employees to actually do their job.  As I would also expect the other management to set a good example for the crew.

I’ve watched the world change dramatically from the introduction of the internet, computers and the now dominating social media and smart devices.  This past year has been an up close view as to why standards in the convenient food (no fast food place is actually fast anymore) workplace have declined severely in the new age.

Dress Code

Although I don’t know of many places that do this, the place I work at, has no real dress code anymore.  We just got bought by a new franchise owner from out of town.  Since then, the black t-shirts with the company logo and khaki pants/shorts are no longer a requirement.  You can wear what you want.  Hence I’ve seen dirty shirts and jeans and shorts that are all torn up.  In this environment I work, it should at least be clean, decent jeans and a company shirt.  At the very least, look clean wearing clothes with no holes and like you actually care about your job.  For the customer’s sake, fake it.

Poor Cleaning

Many times I will walk into the store and the floors look like they haven’t been mopped in days.  Dirty pans stacked high.  The area where the food is made is a wreck.  If I were the customer walking into a restaurant, the first thing I do is look at the cleanliness.  If it looks like a rat-hole, I tend to walk right back out.  I don’t want my food made in a place where they don’t keep a fairly clean kitchen.  Whatever happened to “clean as you go”.  I remember that being a policy in many employee handbooks over the years.  This is especially annoying when the crew is standing around playing on their phones or chatting with friends, family or coworkers amid the destruction.  My philosophy has always been, “If you have time to lean, you have time to clean.”.  It would be different if everything was in order and then they had nothing to do.

Job Description

It doesn’t matter if you are a crew member, driver or manager.  There are things that are expected of every employee.  This way the workload won’t fall squarely on only a few individuals.  You must be able to help make food, box food, prep food, answer phones to take orders, run the cash register, stock the makeline and clean.  If you are weak in any area of your job, it’s the manager’s duty to help you strengthen this weakness so that the employee can be a valued part of the team.

Instead, some employees who manage to show up for work on time and only have to achieve some of the responsibilities to be valued as good enough.  If they don’t want to take orders, operate the register or answer phones; it’s ok to make others drop what they’re doing to pick up the slack.  If they don’t know how to clean the bathrooms or floors, just do a poor job and then the other employees who do those same duties at closing will take care of it.

Honestly that makes for a very unhappy work environment.  If some employees have to make up for the weaknesses of part of the team on a consistent basis, they will feel they have to work twice as hard to make the same paycheck.  Which will make the good employees quit eventually.

Personal Calls and Texts

In the good old days before smartphones, you weren’t allowed to use the company phone for personal phone calls unless it was an emergency or had gotten the manager’s permission prior to making the call.  This kept employees doing what they get paid to do, rather than getting paid to socialize.  Holy hell has that changed.  You hear an alert noise or buzz and someone will drop what they are doing and beeline straight for their phone.  In today’s society you expect that from teenagers as their phone is their world.  God forbid they actually go out and do things.  I digress.  However smartphones and social media have pretty much taken a hold of the world.  Turning people of all ages into helpless minions compelled to answer the all mighty tones and buzzes produced by their pocket devices.  I’ve seen old people text while driving now.  As if they didn’t have trouble behind the wheel.  I digress… again.

In the workplace it’s very detracting to the workflow.  Especially when there’s a lot going on.  Suddenly a noise and grandma stops making food and checks her phone.  She tries to be sly about it and walk around the partial wall where the break table is.  Same goes for the young married man.  His pants vibrate and suddenly he has to use the bathroom.  Right…  Like none of us have a clue what he’s really doing.

I admit I check my phone too, but not when it goes off.  It can ding and buzz all it likes.  It will wait until there’s little to nothing going on.  I use a very standard ideal.  Unless it’s an emergency it can wait.  If it’s a real emergency.  A true bonafide life emergency.  Then don’t call me, call 911 first.  Afterward leave me a text or voicemail and I’ll come as soon as I can.  It won’t help anyone if I just drop what I’m doing to call 911 for you.

Friends and Family

This kills me.  Doesn’t matter if the place is dead or busy.  People wander in and just distract employees by interrupting their work to chat.  Wait, what?  If that happened when I was a manager, I’d ask the offending people to leave if we were busy.  Or if we were slow, I’d ask the employee to take a 15 minute unpaid break.  I’m not about to let someone get paid to just socialize with their friends or family members.  They can do that on their own time.  Are there no standards anymore?  Talk about your personal lives on your own time.  Not the company’s time.

Drama and Facebook

This one is just as bad as the Friends and Family.  There is always some rant about someone’s ex or something that got posted to Facebook.  Who the hell cares?  The employee is there to do a job.  Not worry about social media and relationships.

Overall I know it’s a low paying job, but honestly there has got to be people out there who would actually work for their pay.  Just because you show up, doesn’t mean you should get to just play on your phone, do a half-assed job and socialize while looking like a bum.  While a handful of people do what is expected of them.  While I wish I could bring my concerns up to the person in charge.  I can’t.  The last time I tried, I got a whole lot of hate from that person.  So no rocking the boat for me.  I’ll shut up and endure for now.  I hope to find a new job much like my day job where I get to dress decent and work in a clean office.  This night job is incredibly taxing on me physically.  But hey, my floors look awesome 🙂


I wasn’t going to put this out here as it’s mostly a beef between me and a couple individuals.  Every time the subject comes up, I get an angry attitude of their right and I’m wrong regardless of my opinions.  Yet through various conversations with others, I’m not alone in my feelings.  This medium allows me to put out my feelings without interruption.

Since having returned to Michigan, I’ve been invited to 4 different funerals.  I went to the first one and was so bored and lost.  I only knew a handful of people.  The person who died I had been introduced to once, but never got to know.  Pretty much all I heard about this person was their drinking problem and it was the major factor in their death.  I so relieved when it was over.

The second was to a person who was related to me by marriage.  I haven’t seen or heard from them since the 80’s.  Really hadn’t even thought about them as they divorced from my relative.  The day of the funeral I worked a double shift.

The third funeral I was invited to, was a person who used to bully me in High School.  Clearly I’m not interested in mourning someone like that.

The forth was a relative who I haven’t spoken to in 30 some years.  My reasons are my own, but when I heard of this passing I felt sorry for the family members who would miss this person.  I gave my condolences.  However, my not being close to this person, and the fact that I need to work to pay the bills.  I chose not to attend the funeral.  Especially since my income is currently the only stable income at the moment.  I now work two part time jobs, I no longer have vacation time to take.  So unless it’s very important to me to do something that makes me miss work, it’s not going to happen.

So the reasons I haven’t wanted to attend funerals are:

  • I’m not going to a funeral of those who bullied me in High School
  • I’m not going to a funeral of those I haven’t given a second thought too in 30+ years
  • I’m not going to a funeral of someone who I’m not close to or even really know
  • I can’t afford to take time off work

The word I got from this latest funeral, was that everyone at the funeral was coming to my wedding.  However, since I didn’t go, they in-turn weren’t coming to my wedding.  Odd, as far as I know, no one besides my mother from the funeral was invited in the first place.  Mostly because of the 5 times we asked for addresses of those who wanted to come, none of these people responded.

I’m told that funerals are for the living.  Basically to talk about the dead.  Which I didn’t want to do.

I’ve been told that there are people in my family wanting to contact me.  I’ve given my number to some of them several months ago.  At the funeral my number was given to someone who supposedly begged for it.  They have yet to call me.  The only person who has called me, only wanted their laptop fixed.  Since I finished the job, not one sound from them.

So why does it take a funeral for these people to supposedly want my attention?  Why not when there isn’t a funeral?  It’s not like it’s hard to find me.  I’m on Facebook, Google+, my phone number is publicly listed, you can do a search for “Denver Fowler” and find me in your favorite search engine and I have email forms on just about every website I maintain.  This website alone has been online since 1999.  So if the effort hasn’t been made by now, I doubt the sincerity.  If someone really wanted to get a hold of me, it wouldn’t take a whole lot of effort on their part.  I can’t make it any easier.

I was faced with my own death and survived.  I was told however my time here is limited and I should put my affairs in order.  Which is why I came back to Michigan.  My affairs deal with my two sons.  Something I’ve been working on, but not trying to force myself upon them.  Things between us didn’t work out like I wanted when I left.  I expected to remain close to them.  Sadly money was an issue, so I didn’t visit like I wanted too.  We grew apart.  I’m back and doing what I can to make up for the past.  That is my number one goal.  Darla coming back into my life was a very unexpected and pleasant surprise bonus 😀

When I do die, I don’t want a big deal funeral.  I don’t want to be stuffed in a coffin.  I only want people tell lighthearted tales if they really mean it.  I’d rather be cremated, used to fertilize a beautiful tree.  Family and friends who actually cared, perhaps 10 people tops; can have a small gathering in a living-room somewhere and have coffee and share a laugh.  Say a prayer that God will forgive me for my wrongs and allow me into heaven.  From there, just leave me a small spot for a memory you fondly have.

So no, I won’t feel guilty for not going.  If someone close to my heart dies, I’ll be sure to attend.  I’ll be attending for them.  Not because it’s the only time anyone who hasn’t talked to me in years to finally do so.

Also, before I published this, Darla read it.  She understands my opinions.  Do not take it out on her if you are offended.


ObservationsThere isn’t a whole lot of anything new going on lately.  Just preparations for the wedding.  Which is frustrating to say the least.  Such as I don’t seem to have a copy of my most recent divorce papers.  Hoping that won’t be a huge issue as I don’t fancy a trip to Virginia just to show I’m no longer married.  Not sure why I don’t have them.  Then again, perhaps they were among the stuff removed from my life during the great storage robbery of 2012.

Other than that, it’s work, work and work.  Tech support in the morning.  Delivery in the evening.  Church on Sunday.  Which is still a lot of driving to Bay City.  Once in a while I get the chance to hang with my kids at the Harvest Barn.  I’m working on making that more of a 50/50 thing.  Right now it’s a 90/10 basis, that’s not in my favor.  Besides, got some grandsons I’d like to get to know more if that’s possible.  That and working less than 55 hours a week would be a welcome change ?

I have however, made some observations over the past few months that have me pondering why people do the things they do.  Especially when they order out or eat out.

Such as tips.  I don’t go out ever, and not tip.  Even if service sucked, I leave something to show how much I appreciate the service.  Sure sometimes it’s a small tip to show I didn’t appreciate the service as much as I’d like.  Still I tip.  When I order delivery, I make sure I tip.  It seems a huge misconception is that delivery drivers get a portion of the cost of the price of the food.  Or that they get the delivery fee.  Having worked for several places doing delivery, the company takes a portion of that delivery fee and no, there is no included tip in the cost.  So tips are what makes it worth doing delivery.  If you have the unmitigated gall to stiff your delivery driver, you truly are a douchebag.  Does that cute little waitress who fills your drink stand in the pouring rain or freezing snow at the door of your home while you fumble about for the money you should’ve had ready when you ordered?  No, she just has to have a tight skirt/pants and a smile.  The delivery fee may cover the gas to get to your house, but not the maintenance of the car he/she used to get there.  Drivers add a lot of miles, as well as unnecessary wear and tear to their cars just to do their job.  At one point I was having an oil change done every month because I was adding 3000 miles to my car every single month.  Plus the new tires, brakes and oil pan I’ve replaced since I started doing this part time work.  The costs have made the lack of income not particularly worth it at times because of tight-wads who have the nerve not to tip.  Seriously, it’s ballsy to not tip your waiter/waitress and delivery drivers.  We don’t think it’s too much to ask that you tip at least $2.  That’s only 10% of your average delivery order.  I’ve talked with my fellow drivers and if that’s all we get, it feels like we’ve done OK.  I go out of my way to make you smile and laugh.  I’ll love on your pets while I wait for you to sign the credit card slip.  I’ll make your kids giggle and feel important by letting them carry the small stuff.  I actually work for my tips.  I don’t just knock on the door and look like I’ve had a bad day.  Instead I try to make your experience a good and memorable one.  Plus I don’t complain when your dog drags that stick down my paint job on my nice shiny car that I keep clean.   I won’t bitch when you decide to use my hood as your signature pad, even though I want to punch you in the face for doing that.  I wouldn’t be so rude to do that to your car.

Then there is the fact that I’m not sure if people are just scum by nature, or if they make a serious effort to be scum when they go out to eat.  OK, I get that you don’t have to do the dishes or wipe off the table, but I swear folks are out to do some damage on purpose when they go out.  They leave excessive amounts of crap all over the table they sit at.  The floor looks like a trash can overflowed next to their table.  They never push their chairs back in.  If they miss the trash can, they don’t even try to attempt and clean up the mess they made.  The bathrooms are even worse.  If someone splatters all over the toilet, they quickly leave the scene and expect someone else to scrub their feces off.  I get you sometimes can’t control yourself, but have some courtesy for others and clean up.  If I do that, I ask the manager for cleaning supplies and own up to my issues.

I mean would you behave like this at a friend or relatives house?  I would hope not.  So what makes going out any different?  Is there some unwritten rule you have to be a complete ass and wreck the restaurant?

The list goes on and on, but yeah it’s like people try to be scum when they are out.  Or perhaps they are just that scummy and their houses look like hell.  Which I can attest to be a true statement.  Having done onsite computer repair and delivery over the years, people’s houses can be down right scary in how gross they are.

Also, I’ve noticed that the snow has returned.  Again…  Make it go away!

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{dŭm'ăs-ə-fō'bē-ə} The Fear of Stupid People.

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