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Goodbye Mancino’s

Goodbye Mancino'sBefore I got injured, I was seriously considering making Mancino’s my full time job when my day job eventually goes away for whatever reason.  I really was.  I enjoyed working at Mancino’s.  Most of the crew was nice and fun.  I loved most of our customers and I’ll miss them.

Since I’ve been cleared to go back to work, it’s been nothing short of an epic struggle to get any kind of hours.  During the last week of August, I was scheduled 5 measly hours.  That’s it.  I had two weeks of good hours out of the past five weeks.  Another week, I only had 4 hours.  One week I had absolutely no hours at all.  I can’t live off of that.  Let alone pay my new debt to the insurance company that screwed me during the Workmen’s Comp time I had.

Do you know how I got injured?  I was called in to work on my night off.  It was Sunday, June 4th.  I clocked in at 4:14pm.  I rushed to get deliveries out that were getting old, because the scheduled driver had to leave.  By 4:40pm I twisted my knee.

While not my finest decision.  Once I got on my feet, I rushed home to get a knee brace and then continued to work the rest of the night.  To the point I could hardly walk at all.  That’s how dedicated I am to the job.  It wasn’t like I could visit the designated clinic for work injuries anyway.  It closed at 4pm that day.  Either way, I had to wait until Monday to go.

In the 19 months I’ve worked for Mancino’s, I never was late for work.  I can easily say that about 80% of the time I was at work an hour early.  In case our day driver (who is up in years), wanted to leave early.  I called out of work once.  Once.  For the stomach flu.  I even paid $50 to go to the clinic just for a doctor’s note.  Colds?  I take some Coricidin HBP and traipse my body to work.  We carry too much cash, I bought and installed a drop box.  This way we don’t need to do that anymore.  They probably will never use it.  That’s not on me.  I tried.  I cared.  I rarely declined when they called me in to cover for someone.  Generally the only time I declined extra hours was if I was out of town.  No one cleaned the floors like I did.  I was faithful to this job.

I get injured and they can’t even throw me a bone for hours.  The straw that broke the camel’s back was this statement, “I don’t know when or if ever you’ll get your hours back.”.  That and the lack of backing from the other folks who I thought cared.  I’m not about to sit by the phone every day waiting to get a call because someone called out.  I want a decent set of hours every week.

I see now that my efforts and faithfulness were in vain.  I’m sorry I got injured.  I’m sorry I was out seven weeks and three days.  I’m not sorry for being a good employee who the customers love.  I frequently asked about my performance, and was never given an unkind comment about my work from any of the management.

Suddenly I’m glad I didn’t go full time there.  I would’ve come back to nothing after my injury.  The people who filled my spot while I was gone know me.  They knew I was coming back.  Clearly neither of them are willing to lose a few hours for me.  That’s just a kick in the face to top all this off.

Goodbye Mancino’s 🙁

Incidentally, this month makes it officially 14 years I’ve been with my day job.  They still appreciate me 😋

My Thoughts On Life

Barney DrunkThis one may get a little too real.  So if you would like not to read my thoughts on subjects of Alcohol Abuse, Drug Abuse and Suicide…  Turn back now.

I think I understand finally.  I think I get why people turn to alcohol and hard drugs.  Even why people commit suicide.  Life is hard.  Sometimes so hard, you beg for some sort of escape.  Especially when you’re lonely.  I’ve been through my share of pain and hardship.  I can’t compare mine to the suffering of someone else though.  I’ve no idea what they’ve been through or are currently going through.

As for myself, I’ve had three divorces.  One of which was a fraud from the very start.  To try and screw me over for the rest of my life.  Long story, some know it.  I can’t ever once say through any of my marriages, that I’ve ever experienced love the way I think it should be.  It’s a long explanation, but the short of it is fidelity through the good and the bad.  And that it should be forever.

I’ve been homeless before.  It was for a few months, still it seemed like an eternity while I put my life back together.  I did and I did it on my own.  For each of my marriages, my finances had been ruined each time.  Leading to three bankruptcies.  My credit has been destroyed time and again.  I’m still working to rebuild it after the last disaster.  I’ve had some stumble points, but I can say my finances have never been more stable in my entire life.  Seems the only way to keep your money in check is to not let anyone else handle it.  Which just adds to my trust issues because every time I let someone else handle it, I get screwed.  It’s even harder when you’ve been hospitalized or been put out of work for an injury.  Especially if the injury ends up putting you in debt with the insurance company that was supposed to take care of you.

Speaking of trust issues.  I have a lot of them.  Loan someone something of value, they steal it or destroy it.  Give your heart away, and they break it.  Repeatedly.  In the beds of other men and women.  Lend someone your car, they do damage to it and all you get is a “man.. I’m so sorry”.  Give someone a compliment and they turn it against you.  Try to be nice and they take complete advantage of your kindness.  Make a mistake, and it’s held against you for all time.

Sometimes I think to myself, why bother trying?  But I try.  I hope that my efforts will someday be rewarded.  Some things I no longer do as I just can’t risk losing what I’ve gained.  It’s hard to rebuild your life after a cataclysmic event.  Once you finally attain some ground, you don’t want to give it up.  For me, $150 isn’t easy to come by sometimes.  So loaning out that tool I just bought to someone else is just not negotiable.  If it gets ruined, I don’t want to have to come up with the money again.

When I do find a good soul, it’s hard to let them in.  It’s hard to trust.  Even if you spend time with them, you tend to analyse everything about them.  In some cases they are good people with simple flaws.  Others, the flaws are too much to take and you can’t stay close to them.

Over all I’ve become so broken.  I spend almost all of my free time alone.  I feel I have so very few friends.  Two live nearby.  One is at work and the other I see every few years.  The one at work, we only talk at work.  We never talk much outside of that.  So are we really friends?  It’s hard for me to say.  The one I see once every few years is someone I knew in high school.  I have two online only friends.  They come and go with months of silence in between.  All the other online friends I once had, have stopped playing games.  They are all gone now.  One is facing prison and the reasons are too horrible to speak of.  So they are not my friend anymore.  Still, I don’t know what is wrong with me.  Why no one likes to be around me.

As an example, the other day I got quiet at work with my own thoughts.  Immediately people asked what was wrong.  Why I wasn’t my happy self.  If they think I’m a happy person, then why can’t we be friends?  I know I am somewhat opinionated.  Am I really that bad?  Something about me is off putting to others and I don’t know what it is.  Is it because I’m too shy?  Am I rude?  I swear I try so much to make people laugh.  I know I’m not very pretty to look at these days.  Not like I was years ago.

I’d ask a psychiatrist, but I can’t afford one and my insurance only allows me a suicide hotline.  I’m not about to commit suicide.  Though if all they want to do is medicate me more, I know that won’t be of much use.  Other than make me not care I’m in this state.  That’s not a solution.

So yeah.  I think I can get why folks turn to substance abuse and suicide.  I have my own laundry list as to why I could choose one of those options.  I question my life a lot lately.

Though I do not agree with turning to alcohol, drugs or suicide.  I am much stronger than that.  Even when I’ve lost everything.  None of those are options in my opinion.

I wouldn’t ever consider drugs above marijuana.  I can’t stand the smell of it anymore though.  Frankly as a person who has many thoughts going on all the time, it just magnifies that.  It’s not much fun for me.  So I don’t do any drugs outside of the ones prescribed for me.

I used to like to have a drink once in a while.  But the meds I’m on don’t allow for that without feeling ill.  I never did like being drunk though.  Loss of motor control actually makes me unhappy.  So why bother with that.

Both are too expensive.   Both form addictions I don’t want.  Neither is a solution.  Why would anyone purposely add more complications to their already insanely difficult life?

Suicide makes no sense to me.  Especially since I’m certain God saved me from death for a reason.  He has yet to let me know why.  Frustrating to be sure.  Still…  Why end your life?  Why be nothing?  I can’t say for sure if someone who has committed suicide would get into heaven or end up in hell.  But why risk losing out on heaven?  God will forgive your sins.  He’s the reason I’m still here.  Regardless of what anyone else thinks of me.  I’m still here.

If I never find the love I so badly seek.  God will love me.  He loves me no matter my opinion.  One day he will educate me on the things I find wrong in this life.  Until then, I have faith.  Even if you don’t believe in God, why risk hurting the ones you love with such actions?  Alcoholism, drug abuse or killing yourself only hurts those who love you.  If I considered one person would be hurt by that action, I would consider it a non-possibility.  Because I would never intentionally hurt a loved one or friend.

These are my opinions.  Not facts.  My views.  It’s perfectly fine if you don’t agree with them.  If you managed to read this and somehow got triggered.  Go to your safe space if all your going to do is blow up on me.  Foamy makes my disclaimer:

There are days…

BenderThere are days.  Quite frequently it seems, that I share the opinion of one of my favorite cartoon characters, Bender.  There are an awful lot of people on this planet that piss me off to no end!  Self-centered, self-involved and have an over abundance of self-entitlement.

Most days I just mutter to myself and move on.  Sometimes, I find myself talking loud enough to let them know I’m dissatisfied with their flagrant disregard for everyone else around them.  Once in a great, rare occasion.  I let them know face to face that they are in fact a dumb-ass!

I could sit here and list things for hours on end.  I won’t.  Though I may hit on things that I’ve mentioned before.  If so, well tough.

Of course there are the people who text and drive.  That should’ve gone without saying.  Though, no matter the ads, no matter the research, no matter the proof…  It never changes.  It’s an addiction.  Much like smoking, many people don’t want to quit.  No matter who has been hurt or killed by it.  Anymore, jobs preach no texting at work, but it happens anyway and they turn a blind eye to it.

The one that got me to write this was I can’t count the number of times I’ve stepped aside or held a door or assisted someone who had a handicap.  Especially if it’s a recent injury.  Like folks on crutches or in wheelchairs.  Folks who aren’t long term and unlikely to get upset at a person for trying to be nice.  (Folks, such as ones in powered chairs, who are long term sometimes get upset when you try to help them.)  I go to the store, needing groceries.  I get to the door on my crutches and people are oblivious to me and won’t let me go through.  Once I finally get inside, and no one will move out of the way.  I have to stand and wait while they ignore my repeated spoken, “Excuse me.”.  What the hell ever happened to people being nice?  I don’t want much, just to get what I need quickly so I can get off my leg and rest it like I’m supposed to do.  I’m sorry, but I need food to survive, and don’t have anyone else to do my shopping.  If only I had a good enough memory to pay back these fuckers when I see them in need.

Other people that make me hate the human race are:

  • Lazy fuckers who can’t put trash in the can or walk a few feet to put a cart in a corral.
  • People who call for tech support and don’t listen to anything I tell them.
  • People who fill their yards with trash making my neighborhood look like crap.
  • People who talk on their phones while you’re trying to interact with them.
  • Assholes who don’t know what that stem on the left side of their steering column is for.
  • People who don’t know what that red octagon sign on the corner of streets are for.
  • People who don’t know that a stop sign is an octagon.
  • peoople who dont know what punktewation and capitaizationand spelling are (Yes, that was intentional.)
  • People who want help, won’t tell you anything about the problem to begin to help them.  Then complain that you’re not helping them.
  • People who don’t know how to safely handle a gun.

The list goes on and on…
… and on…

And people wonder why I want to breed flying monkeys and take over the world 😈

KILL ALL HUMANS!!

One Tired Puppy

Tired PuppyLately I’ve been one tired puppy.  This week I’ve put in over 54 hours of work between job one and job two.  It’s been like that for weeks.  Each night seem to end in my back hurting while I try to clean a restaurant.  From scrubbing toilets to scrubbing the floors with some really weak floor cleaner.  I’m too tall and too old to be bent over that long.

It’s not that I work more than 50 hours a week, it’s the fact that they are broken up from 8:30 am to 12:30 pm and then from 4 pm to 10 pm (or later).  So after job one…  It’s shower, shave and then do any errands I have before having to go to job two.  This includes shopping, snow blowing, paying bills, doctor appointments and so on.  I work so much, and spend so little time at home; I had to make sure Isabel got a new home.  I never had time to spend with her ☹  Hopefully Darla can take her later on.  For now she’s with family of Darla.  At leash she made some new friends at her new home ?

Granted, the only thing that really hurts is standing on a cement floor for long periods and then the two hours of cleaning every night.  When I do have a night off, it seems like all I do is run about town.  I hardly ever eat dinner at home anymore.  I never visit family.  Or if I do, it’s because they want something from me.  Such as a computer fixed or something involving heavy lifting.  Yeah, because that’s what I want to do on my time off is more work ?

More recently I realize I have to work just a bit harder for a while to pay off Uncle Sam.  Well, Uncle Obama that is.  That stupid Obamacare bit me in the ass good this year.  They want you to guess how much you’ll make in a year and then give you a credit based off that guess.  If you don’t update your income status thinking it hasn’t changed, it can creep up on you.  I didn’t know I had made an extra $4000 last year.  When you break it down, it’s only an extra $70 a week.  Not bad, but after taxes, it’s an even smaller number making it hardly noticeable.  In the end, I got too much of a credit for my healthcare and now I have to pay it back.  To the tune of $750.  So much for that new drum cymbal I wanted or having money to put towards buying a house this year ?

With Darla back home in Bay City, I had my mom move back in with me.  Sharing bills isn’t the same as sharing all expenses.  Sure paying half the bills is good.  But some weeks are harder than others when you don’t have a pooled income.  Don’t worry, I can handle it.  I’ll make all of this work.  I always do.  Just may take longer to get it all done.  Though I really wish I could visit the chiropractor this afternoon.  Sadly, I’ll have to wait until next week.  Medical type folks like their weekends here.  No Saturday hours.

Just a few RANTS!

Just a few RANTS!If you think I follow Foamy for a reason.  You’d be right.  His famous rants and sense of logic are shared by my own feelings and thoughts.  Right now there are a few kinds of people pissing me off.  Here’s a few of mine lately that have been driving me to the edge of insanity…

Dumbasses with Smartphones

I can’t wait to find a new job.  Lately the night job has become infiltrated with teenagers and some adults who have an over-the-top addiction to their phones.  I came in one night to find six employees standing in a circle all looking at their phones rather than doing anything they get paid to do.  I wanted to take a picture of the non-productiveness, but then I’d just be number 7.  The other night I walked in on a customer just standing at the counter.  He was coyly watching three employees talking and playing on their phones.  As I walked passed him to go behind the counter, I asked loudly if he hand been helped.  He knew what I was doing and replied loudly that no, he had been simply watching the same people for several minutes while we waited to be helped.  I helped him and by then, they had magically moved to different places in the store and started on his order.  Why should we put up with this nonsense to have employees?  As I’ve said before, I’d never make it as a manager in today’s world.  Because I would be putting foot to ass, proverbially speaking, by putting a stop to all this wasted labor costs.

I certainly don’t like having to do something while others stand about gawking at their tiny screens making sure their friends status updates get noticed right away.  Of course if I say anything about it, I’m likely to cause trouble and be fired.  I hate having to drop hints, as it makes me disliked among the offenders.  Clearly the current management don’t care as a couple of them do it too.  These kind of people keep getting hired.  I guess that makes me the the problem.  God knows I’d love to resolve it by finding something new for a job.  I never expected it to last so long.  Though I do pretty good as the most customers tip me, so I guess they like me.

I do average $16 per hour.  I have yet to go below $12 per hour.  One night it went as high as $38 per hour.

Still, I don’t understand why this is allowed.  Sure we all are guilty of doing it a little.  However, when people are ignoring what they are getting paid to do.  As well as doing it for long periods of time, that’s BS.  It’s a real shame when the overweight guy with heart problems works more than healthy people do.

The Men’s Room

Men, stop being a bunch of lazy Gits!  That was the only word I could find to not be vulgar.  It’s not nearly as vulgar as what the majority of you do to a public restroom.  I would have to say that “Public Piss Syndrome” isn’t the only reason many of us avoid the Men’s Room.  It’s because we know we’ll walk into a room that stinks to high hell and is absolutely gross with piss and shit all over the toilet.  Trash on the floor and a sink that you’d be surprised to find dirty, because by the looks of the rest of the room, so you wouldn’t think it was getting used.  There are a lot of gross and lazy bastards out there.  Sure the Women’s Room isn’t always roses and candy either.  There are obviously some really inconsiderate so-called ladies in the world too.  Though the Men’s Room takes the prize by a landslide.  Or in some cases, a shitstorm…

Clearly many of you are not NBA All Stars or you’d hit the waste basket.  But do you bother to pick up your missed shots?  Hell no.  You lazy twats leave it on the floor for someone else.  You don’t wipe the toilet off when you miss or make a mess.  You don’t bother to tell anyone if the trash is overflowing.  You just let it fall.

Do you do this kind of thing at home?  If so, I hope your significant other eventually snaps and clobbers you in the face with a baseball bat.  It’s just obnoxious to be that lazy and inconsiderate.  Not too mention, I’d never want to be invited to your house.

And…

There was a third rant, but I’ve gone on so far with these I can’t remember it.  Stupid old age.  I’ll have to save it for another post someday.

Oh… Darla also feels this way 🙂

It’s been 3 Years

Clock / CalendarToday marks 3 years since I’ve returned to Michigan.  Unfortunately many of my plans haven’t gone as well as I had hoped for.  There has been plenty of obstacles to overcome, death of those I knew but thankfully who weren’t close to me and lots of changes.

On the upside, I’m still alive.  Which is a good thing.  Still have pains in my chest fairly regularly.  Haven’t had the time or the money to even bother with a cardiologist since I’ve been here.  My family doctor has been watching me, knowing I can’t afford things like stress tests and fancy fees.  I’m healthy enough to work, but can’t afford decent health coverage on my wages.  I’m so pissed at Obama and yet our current available replacements don’t look any better.  Can we vote to get new candidates?  I digress.

Sadly some of the things I wanted to really do, like get close to my sons again, hasn’t really worked like I had planned.  I had hoped to move to East Jordan, but it’s hard to find an affordable place and there really isn’t any work for me in that town.  Even if I did, I don’t know if it would help much.  With me working so much, it’s hard to find time.  Though I’m less than an hour away.  Perhaps things will progress this year.  There have been good things happening though, such as Adam and Laura’s Wedding and the birth of my 3 grandsons.  Judah Allen Fowler, Noah Allen Fowler (notice a pattern?) and Hayden LaPradd.  So far I’ve only got to meet the two Fowler’s once, other than that, I’m watching them grow up on Facebook 😐 I so hope for an invite once in a while.

I’m very happy having gotten back to being able to play the drums.  It’s been years upon years since I gave them up.  When I got back, my first tax return afforded me my new drum kit.  Sadly it’s not an acoustic kit, but I’m sure the neighbors are pleased not to hear me practice 😀  I had hoped to build up to doing an actual concert with my talented children.  Still want to do it very much.  I’m not giving up on that yet, but it’s certainly been postponed.  Just one concert though.  Not looking to make a career of it, simply fulfilling a dream.  I’m anxious to share the experience.

I had also hoped to reconnect with old friends.  In this time I haven’t been successful in making any new friends either.  All of my gamer friends have disbanded and moved on to either a game free life or console gaming.  Of which I’m still not into.  I’m still a PC gamer, but try as I may, I’m a lifer when it comes to World of Warcraft.  As before, I’m only playing by myself.  Darla has expressed an interest in playing with me, but hasn’t really put much time into it yet.  We were still working on just moving around before she ended up in surgery.  She hasn’t touched it since.  I even switched back to the Alliance so she wouldn’t have to play ugly monsters 🙂  I don’t play as much though.  Work gets in the way 😉

As it was, finding a part time job was a hell of an adventure and I’m still seeking what I want to do for a career change.  Something with less customer service stupidity would be nice for a change.  Although as of May 22, I had to finally relent not working on Sunday to help sustain our household income while Darla heals from her colectomy and removal of an ovary.  She’s healing quite well, but will be some weeks before she’s strong enough to work again.  Hopefully soon we will be able to go on the long walks we planned to get exercise in.  We have an exercise bike, but getting out of the house while it’s summer would be much nicer.  Even if the town isn’t as pretty as it used to be.

I still don’t find my town as charming and pretty as I once did.  It looks tired and worn out.  The roads are horrible and the maintenance they do is an absolute joke in town.  The interstate got a nice make over between Gaylord and Waters.  Thankfully it’s finally spring, so I have the trees and flowers to distract me from the time worn buildings and trash laden sidewalks.  Seems I’ve pretty much run the gamut on nostalgia around here already.  Didn’t think it would be so lackluster…

The best I’ve experienced since my moving back is Darla and me reconnecting.  Though that hasn’t been without it’s series of challenges and changes.  From our engagement, to the multiple changes in plans and the unfortunate postponement.  My mom seems to love her to death, which is a pleasant change in my life.

All in all it’s been an experience.  Can’t say it’s been good or bad when you add it all up.  It’s clear I still have work to do with my sons.  I just don’t want to force myself into their lives.  I’m not asking anything but forgiveness and acceptance.  I also hope to make some new friends eventually.  As well, I pray for a few more good years in health so I can spend them with Darla and my grandsons as well.  Play my concert and die fulfilled in the knowledge I made some impact in this world.  And leave some good memories for others behind.

Don’t come to my funeral to show how much you cared about me.  Show me how much you care about me now..  While I’m alive.

~ Unknown

Funerals

I wasn’t going to put this out here as it’s mostly a beef between me and a couple individuals.  Every time the subject comes up, I get an angry attitude of their right and I’m wrong regardless of my opinions.  Yet through various conversations with others, I’m not alone in my feelings.  This medium allows me to put out my feelings without interruption.

Since having returned to Michigan, I’ve been invited to 4 different funerals.  I went to the first one and was so bored and lost.  I only knew a handful of people.  The person who died I had been introduced to once, but never got to know.  Pretty much all I heard about this person was their drinking problem and it was the major factor in their death.  I so relieved when it was over.

The second was to a person who was related to me by marriage.  I haven’t seen or heard from them since the 80’s.  Really hadn’t even thought about them as they divorced from my relative.  The day of the funeral I worked a double shift.

The third funeral I was invited to, was a person who used to bully me in High School.  Clearly I’m not interested in mourning someone like that.

The forth was a relative who I haven’t spoken to in 30 some years.  My reasons are my own, but when I heard of this passing I felt sorry for the family members who would miss this person.  I gave my condolences.  However, my not being close to this person, and the fact that I need to work to pay the bills.  I chose not to attend the funeral.  Especially since my income is currently the only stable income at the moment.  I now work two part time jobs, I no longer have vacation time to take.  So unless it’s very important to me to do something that makes me miss work, it’s not going to happen.

So the reasons I haven’t wanted to attend funerals are:

  • I’m not going to a funeral of those who bullied me in High School
  • I’m not going to a funeral of those I haven’t given a second thought too in 30+ years
  • I’m not going to a funeral of someone who I’m not close to or even really know
  • I can’t afford to take time off work

The word I got from this latest funeral, was that everyone at the funeral was coming to my wedding.  However, since I didn’t go, they in-turn weren’t coming to my wedding.  Odd, as far as I know, no one besides my mother from the funeral was invited in the first place.  Mostly because of the 5 times we asked for addresses of those who wanted to come, none of these people responded.

I’m told that funerals are for the living.  Basically to talk about the dead.  Which I didn’t want to do.

I’ve been told that there are people in my family wanting to contact me.  I’ve given my number to some of them several months ago.  At the funeral my number was given to someone who supposedly begged for it.  They have yet to call me.  The only person who has called me, only wanted their laptop fixed.  Since I finished the job, not one sound from them.

So why does it take a funeral for these people to supposedly want my attention?  Why not when there isn’t a funeral?  It’s not like it’s hard to find me.  I’m on Facebook, Google+, my phone number is publicly listed, you can do a search for “Denver Fowler” and find me in your favorite search engine and I have email forms on just about every website I maintain.  This website alone has been online since 1999.  So if the effort hasn’t been made by now, I doubt the sincerity.  If someone really wanted to get a hold of me, it wouldn’t take a whole lot of effort on their part.  I can’t make it any easier.

I was faced with my own death and survived.  I was told however my time here is limited and I should put my affairs in order.  Which is why I came back to Michigan.  My affairs deal with my two sons.  Something I’ve been working on, but not trying to force myself upon them.  Things between us didn’t work out like I wanted when I left.  I expected to remain close to them.  Sadly money was an issue, so I didn’t visit like I wanted too.  We grew apart.  I’m back and doing what I can to make up for the past.  That is my number one goal.  Darla coming back into my life was a very unexpected and pleasant surprise bonus 😀

When I do die, I don’t want a big deal funeral.  I don’t want to be stuffed in a coffin.  I only want people tell lighthearted tales if they really mean it.  I’d rather be cremated, used to fertilize a beautiful tree.  Family and friends who actually cared, perhaps 10 people tops; can have a small gathering in a living-room somewhere and have coffee and share a laugh.  Say a prayer that God will forgive me for my wrongs and allow me into heaven.  From there, just leave me a small spot for a memory you fondly have.

So no, I won’t feel guilty for not going.  If someone close to my heart dies, I’ll be sure to attend.  I’ll be attending for them.  Not because it’s the only time anyone who hasn’t talked to me in years to finally do so.

Also, before I published this, Darla read it.  She understands my opinions.  Do not take it out on her if you are offended.

Observations

ObservationsThere isn’t a whole lot of anything new going on lately.  Just preparations for the wedding.  Which is frustrating to say the least.  Such as I don’t seem to have a copy of my most recent divorce papers.  Hoping that won’t be a huge issue as I don’t fancy a trip to Virginia just to show I’m no longer married.  Not sure why I don’t have them.  Then again, perhaps they were among the stuff removed from my life during the great storage robbery of 2012.

Other than that, it’s work, work and work.  Tech support in the morning.  Delivery in the evening.  Church on Sunday.  Which is still a lot of driving to Bay City.  Once in a while I get the chance to hang with my kids at the Harvest Barn.  I’m working on making that more of a 50/50 thing.  Right now it’s a 90/10 basis, that’s not in my favor.  Besides, got some grandsons I’d like to get to know more if that’s possible.  That and working less than 55 hours a week would be a welcome change ?

I have however, made some observations over the past few months that have me pondering why people do the things they do.  Especially when they order out or eat out.

Such as tips.  I don’t go out ever, and not tip.  Even if service sucked, I leave something to show how much I appreciate the service.  Sure sometimes it’s a small tip to show I didn’t appreciate the service as much as I’d like.  Still I tip.  When I order delivery, I make sure I tip.  It seems a huge misconception is that delivery drivers get a portion of the cost of the price of the food.  Or that they get the delivery fee.  Having worked for several places doing delivery, the company takes a portion of that delivery fee and no, there is no included tip in the cost.  So tips are what makes it worth doing delivery.  If you have the unmitigated gall to stiff your delivery driver, you truly are a douchebag.  Does that cute little waitress who fills your drink stand in the pouring rain or freezing snow at the door of your home while you fumble about for the money you should’ve had ready when you ordered?  No, she just has to have a tight skirt/pants and a smile.  The delivery fee may cover the gas to get to your house, but not the maintenance of the car he/she used to get there.  Drivers add a lot of miles, as well as unnecessary wear and tear to their cars just to do their job.  At one point I was having an oil change done every month because I was adding 3000 miles to my car every single month.  Plus the new tires, brakes and oil pan I’ve replaced since I started doing this part time work.  The costs have made the lack of income not particularly worth it at times because of tight-wads who have the nerve not to tip.  Seriously, it’s ballsy to not tip your waiter/waitress and delivery drivers.  We don’t think it’s too much to ask that you tip at least $2.  That’s only 10% of your average delivery order.  I’ve talked with my fellow drivers and if that’s all we get, it feels like we’ve done OK.  I go out of my way to make you smile and laugh.  I’ll love on your pets while I wait for you to sign the credit card slip.  I’ll make your kids giggle and feel important by letting them carry the small stuff.  I actually work for my tips.  I don’t just knock on the door and look like I’ve had a bad day.  Instead I try to make your experience a good and memorable one.  Plus I don’t complain when your dog drags that stick down my paint job on my nice shiny car that I keep clean.   I won’t bitch when you decide to use my hood as your signature pad, even though I want to punch you in the face for doing that.  I wouldn’t be so rude to do that to your car.

Then there is the fact that I’m not sure if people are just scum by nature, or if they make a serious effort to be scum when they go out to eat.  OK, I get that you don’t have to do the dishes or wipe off the table, but I swear folks are out to do some damage on purpose when they go out.  They leave excessive amounts of crap all over the table they sit at.  The floor looks like a trash can overflowed next to their table.  They never push their chairs back in.  If they miss the trash can, they don’t even try to attempt and clean up the mess they made.  The bathrooms are even worse.  If someone splatters all over the toilet, they quickly leave the scene and expect someone else to scrub their feces off.  I get you sometimes can’t control yourself, but have some courtesy for others and clean up.  If I do that, I ask the manager for cleaning supplies and own up to my issues.

I mean would you behave like this at a friend or relatives house?  I would hope not.  So what makes going out any different?  Is there some unwritten rule you have to be a complete ass and wreck the restaurant?

The list goes on and on, but yeah it’s like people try to be scum when they are out.  Or perhaps they are just that scummy and their houses look like hell.  Which I can attest to be a true statement.  Having done onsite computer repair and delivery over the years, people’s houses can be down right scary in how gross they are.

Also, I’ve noticed that the snow has returned.  Again…  Make it go away!

Sorry Folks

Ever Wonder?I realize I haven’t posted anything in a few weeks.  Sorry about that.  Nothing really good to talk about lately.

Our “mild winter” seems to have been a fantasy.  Should have been described as a “delayed winter” as lately it’s been snow, snow and more snow.  For snowmobile and ski fans, that’s good news.  Or those in snow removal, ski resorts and snowmobile/bar hangouts it’s good news.  For those of us who don’t have a good snowblower or can’t afford a plow, it’s back-breaking, freezing our asses off news.

Christmas was a complete wash.

My new healthcare plan sucks.  Thanks again Obama.  ?

Still haven’t found an affordable place to live and moving in this weather won’t be any fun.  I was hoping to get moved before this snow fall.  So much for that.

Which also puts our budget for our wedding behind and it’s looking like it may be a quick, small ceremony and a crowd funded reception.  Or having to put off the reception for a while if we can’t swing it.  Darla and I don’t mind it being a small affair thankfully.

Oil pan on my car is about to rust off, hoping it lasts until tax returns.

So far 2016 hasn’t had a great start.  It’s still very early in the year, hoping things pick up and move forward soon.  Chatting with God a lot, though still don’t get much plain English from him.  Still wanting the secret decoder ring to figure out what he’s telling me.

By the way, what is the translation of the Bible is most folks using these days?  I have the King James Version which never reads like what I hear in either of the churches I go to.  (Harvest Barn Church – East Jordan, and Christian Assembly of God – Bay City)

Frequently Asked Questions

faqDarla and I have been getting a barrage of the same questions over and over.  So…  To put it in writing, here are our answers to these questions.  Of course, it won’t stop people from asking, but hopefully it will slow it down some.  Because honestly these questions are getting a bit frustratingly annoying.

Why Gaylord?

Why did we choose to live in Gaylord?  It’s a middle ground.  See, I (Denny) left Michigan in 1993 to join the Navy.  I was freaking out about my marriage ending and needed time to get away and think.  What better way to do that and serve our country at the same time.  While I was there I learned to be the geek I am today.  So I came back in 1998 just to move back to Virginia in 1999 for a job at Gateway.  Which was outsourced in 2001.  I got married and stayed in Virginia up until Summer of 2013 when I moved back.  I moved back because my being away has not made me very close to my sons.  They are why I came back.  I promised them I wouldn’t do that to them again as I want to try to reconnect and get close to them.  I wanted to move to East Jordan to be able to spend more time with them.  But I couldn’t find work or a place to live there.  So here is the deal.  They live nearly an hour away from Gaylord depending on weather.  Darla’s family is an hour and a half south of here.  Denny makes this drive every weekend.  It’s not a horribly long distance.  So in not breaking my promise to my sons, this is a good middle ground between the two families.  Darla and I agree to this arrangement.  Tough noogies if anyone else doesn’t like it.  As for Alexis moving, we’ve both had to make moves in our life times as children and adjusted just fine.  She will too.

What are the details of your wedding?

Some folks think we should have everything planned by now.  Down to the last detail.  We are still working on finding a place for us to live in.  Outside of that, we spend a few hours together on Sundays.  We’d rather not waste that precious time with each other planning.  We’ll have plenty of time for that once we get settled into a place.  We will let everyone know when we have all the details.  Stop bugging us until then!

For one, our wedding is many months away.  We have only a small clue how many people want to come as they have yet to let us know.  Why?  Because it’s months away and they don’t know themselves if they can come.  We don’t know if the weather will play nice, so we aren’t sure if we are going with plan a)  Carroll Park or plan b) the Christian Assembly Church.

Why a Pot-Luck Reception?

This pot-luck thing is a topic of discussion.  It’s simple, we don’t have money, thus we can’t afford catering.  Don’t like it?  Don’t come.  Simple answer.  Also it’s not unheard of.  Try using your favorite search engine and looking it up.

We’ll tell you what though.  If you want to pay for our reception’s catering, then we’ll let you.  We’ll drop the pot-luck in a heartbeat if you want to foot the bill.  Let us be clear though, you’re paying for it and it’s not a loan.  Otherwise, pot-luck is the only thing we can afford.

Why is the wedding on a Tuesday?

Because that date is special to us.  We want our anniversary to always be May 3rd.  Sucks that it falls on a Tuesday.  But we aren’t about to change the date just to please others.  It’s that simple.  We moved the reception to a weekend to appease those who can’t make a Tuesday wedding.  We’re OK with only a handful of people coming to the wedding itself.

How come you’re having the reception on a different day?

Read the above paragraph.  If you’re still confused, we can’t help.

Why is the wedding being held in Bay City?

Darla has the most people coming.  For one, Carroll Park is the place I proposed to her.  We’d like to have it there.  Plus, it’s far better to inconvenience a few folks to drive from Gaylord or East Jordan to Bay City than to inconvenience a lot of people.  Those coming from out of state will have an easier time getting to Bay City than to Gaylord.  Besides decent hotels in Bay City are cheaper.  Gaylord the only affordable place is the Timberly and it’s not recommended.


The most frustrating part of all of this is we don’t understand why folks can’t just accept our wishes and go with it?  Instead there are people who feel the need to push their opinions on us.  As if that will somehow make us happier.  When in reality, it’s not what we want, it’s what someone else wants.  Frankly those are the things that almost make us want to skip the whole damn thing and just find a Justice of the Peace and do it quietly.

Also, as a side note, Denny works two jobs.  Not just one.  It seems even though I’ve been a geek doing tech support for computers since 1994, people seem to ignore that fact.  Or the fact that I’ve been working for the same internet company for nearly 13 years.  Instead they hear I do delivery for a pizza place and suddenly I’m just some low life minimum wage person.  The fact is, there are not many tech jobs here in Gayrock.  So I make fairly decent money in wages plus tips doing my part time second job.  It’s a SECOND JOB, not what I plan to do for a living.  Sure my future may not be in the tech world, but it isn’t in pizza delivery either.

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