What sucks about being a blogger with my life as it is now, is that I have my best ideas for things to write about when I’m driving for work. No where near my computer or tablet. I am not about to distract myself like an idiot by texting, recording or anything else while driving. So most ideas get lost. This one has been rattling in my head for months. And took weeks to fully write and I’m sure I missed many points I wanted to make.
When it comes to life as I see it these days, the glasses I wear are less rose colored and more hide my eyes dark. I haven’t led a charmed life by any means. To be honest, I can’t recall when I was last genuinely happy. I’ve held a handful of skepticism for nearly two decades. Yet life managed to fool me into things I never wanted for myself.
So these days I live life drawn back from people. I do what I feel I must do, but I find it hard to move forward without absolute assurance things will go my way. So here’s how I live life now.
Don’t trust anyone. Not fully. Even if you love them dearly, don’t blindly submit to them. Remember that exercise of falling backwards and trusting someone to catch you while your eyes are closed? Yeah, don’t close your eyes. That same person who you trusted with your soul may (not saying they will, but may) change their feelings toward you without notice. At least this way if that day should ever come, you can brace for the impact and not break your head or heart wide open.
Beware of False Friends. I find more and more that my list of friends is getting really short. As I realize a lot of the people I was so-called friends with, are people who only like me when they find me useful to them in some fashion. Once my usefulness has run its course, they suddenly don’t have time for me. If I want to just hang out and talk, they aren’t interested. Or if I talk to them after a long period of silence, it’s met with needing my assistance more than needing me socially. As long as I fix their computer or help them move something I’m all good. If I want to just watch TV with them, they have other things to do. So I’ve started cutting them from my life. I don’t mind helping a friend, if in fact they are a friend in return. Also a real friend will be your friend no matter what. Even if you are on a long down note, they will at least offer you an ear. Even if they don’t have a way to help or have advice to give. Same goes for family.
Listen for Empty Words. Some of the so-called friends I’ve had always say we should get together sometime. When the time comes, they don’t have time. Or say they need a few more days. In once case, two years went by before I bothered them again. They said they’d get with me in a few hours. That was 6 months ago. I’ve removed them. Why do people claim they want you in their life if they really don’t? Why make empty promises? I no longer have time to waste on useless people like that.
Staying single. Just as I started to write this, Foamy seemed to have read my mind. It’s damn near pointless to bother with finding a relationship. Too many risks and hardly any reward. Fuck Social Justice Warriors.
Keep yourself covered. And/or your immediate family. I’ve built myself some savings. Enough for an entire months worth of income. After taxes. At the very least. Really you should go for two months worth if you can. Having short-term disability benefits are also a good thing. You really never know when something bad may happen. You end up out of work. Bills don’t stop when you are unable to work. The phone calls for unpaid debts can be relentless. Sure, a credit card with a decent limit is nice. But you have to be sure you have the self control to not use it frivolously. Many can’t. Or if you have a significant other who can’t. Have a way to keep your head above water. Friends and family can’t always come through when a crisis strikes. I’m not saying they won’t, but perhaps the timing is such that they too are on harder times. Be absolutely certain you can cover your own ass. (Or asses if there is a spouse and possibly children involved.)
Honestly I don’t like they way the world is changing. Everyone is so uptight over every little thing and keep screaming about how everyone needs to be accepting of all these things. Folks, it’s never going to be that way. There will always be people who don’t accept other people for one reason or another. Things about me have never been accepted by groups of other people. It’s life. But to waste such energy on demanding acceptance, you end up not living. I am who I am. You don’t have to accept me. But I’ll be damned if I’m going to change for you. I don’t expect you to change for me. Nor will I demand it. I will simply move on to someone who does accept me as I am.