Sergeant Major Asshat

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Sergeant Major AsshatSergeant Major Asshat has got to be the absolute, biggest asshole I have ever had the displeasure of meeting.  When he introduces himself though, he thinks he is deserving of a cutesy nickname 😂

He does nothing all day but yell, drink beer and smoke weed.  Pretty much in that order.  The man is completely incapable of using a normal tone/volume.  He has to shout and yell every time his mouth opens.  Unfortunately, I hear every single conversation, rant, racial slur and opinion.  He says fuck more times in 20 minutes than the entire South Park: Bigger, Longer & Uncut movie.

I realize where I live attracts the worst kind of people.  In all my years, all my travels around this globe and back; never have I imagined coming across anyone like him.  I’ve only ever see him leave his the property to get more beer.

Amazingly he’s managed to make friends with a couple people here.  Even one he fights with and has on occasion called him the dreaded N Word repeatedly.  (and yes, the person in question is black)  So Sergeant Major Asshat is racist as fuck to boot.

Always touting he was a United States Marine for 10 FUCKING YEARS!!!  Seriously, anyone who has to declare that in such an angry tone all day every day, no longer deserves the respect he/she thinks they do.  He never misses an opportunity to puff up his chest in conflict with anyone who questions or disagrees with him.  He continually tries to pick a fight with a few of the neighbors.  Especially the one on the other side of him from me.

Among his favorite rants, he’s never been afraid of anything and never will be.  In my opinion he fears to have a respectful, adult conversation or debate.  From my perspective, he throws verbal temper tantrums equal to a 12 year old girl who isn’t getting her way.

He loves drama and will make it up if he has to.  Such as he’s convinced someone (possibly me) got up at 430am one night, just to knock on his door and run away quickly before he could see who it was.

  1. I would never engage with him (or anyone else) in such a childish manner.
  2. I haven’t run in years.  Bad knee, fat as fuck, etc…
  3. He would’ve heard my door close no matter how quietly I try to shut it.
  4. If he had any fucking brains, he would’ve noticed the 4 security cameras above him.  He could’ve just asked the maintenance man or landlord to check the footage.

I managed to ask him about it one night.  His response was a very drunken, “I don’t give a fuck motherfucker!  I was born to lead!  Not to follow!”.  I’ve no idea what that had to do with my query at all.  Frankly, he looks so old and wasted all the time, that most healthy people could take him in a fight.  Though I have no desire to fight anyone.  I just want to live in peace.  He makes that insanely hard to do.  Even when I have my windows and doors closed.  The air conditioner running.  Headphones on.  Yeah…  He’s that obnoxiously loud.

Frankly, I think he heard the noise in a dream because I never heard it and I live next door.  But in his rant and re-enactment to his peers, he had to pound on the table repeatedly to demonstrate how loud it was.  The walls are paper thin here, I heard the entire conversation.  He did it just to be a child in retaliation for something I would never do.

Don’t get me started on all the nights he’s up yelling and cursing until 2am or later.  Complete rude, uncaring fucktard.  I’ve tried to complain to the property manager.  So have others.  We just get told to call the police.  Which for noise, they won’t give help outside of the city limits.

I haven’t played my relatively quiet electronic drums in months because of him.  I tried to keep my playing between noon and 8pm to let others sleep.  But until he moved in, no one ever complained.  Sergeant Major Asshat threw an absolute temper tantrum.  I quickly apologized and knowing his temperament.  Rather than try to negotiate for hours it would be OK to do, I just stopped all together.  He’s never appreciated that.  Because he’s a massive twat.

I’ve done nothing but try to keep quiet and to myself.  That’s clearly not enough for him.

Lately, he’s taken to harassing the other delivery drivers that come around.  Yelling that their cars are too loud.  That this is private property and he’ll call the cops.  I guess he doesn’t want anyone else getting food except for him.  It’s an apartment complex.  People invited the delivery driver to come.  So Sergeant Major Asshat has zero authority.

Fuck sakes I can’t wait to get my own house.  Though because of him, I am moving out today.  I can’t take it anymore.