It’s been 3 years now since I left Widomaker in favor of having a local full time job. Mostly out of guilt, as my employer in Virginia paid all sorts of money on my behalf to keep me employed with the company. While insanely generous, it was also based on my doctor telling me I was heading for the grave several years ago. Instead, I’m still kicking and feeling pretty decent despite all my handicaps and weight issues.
Here’s the thing though. Since I left Virginia to come to Michigan, I’ve had the worst time making friends. Hell even reconnecting with old friends here has been nothing short of a shit-show. Of course, I immediately think I’m the problem in this scenario. I’m the common denominator. Yet… I still talk to the Widomaker friends I have been with for 14 years and we have a good time. We never miss wishing each other happiness on birthdays, holidays and so on. We buy each other coffee long distance. The loved ones I had in Virginia still love me. They still wish I was there with them instead of being so far away.
Here in Michigan, I haven’t had much luck. I’ve had a few part time jobs prior to the full time job I’ve have now. None of which could I make a real friend. Every single time I think I’ve made a friend, they find a way to throw me under the bus at work for something. Some have screwed me over outside of work. Every time I confide in them, they betray me. Then they come back to me like nothing happened. This last time, I swear to God I felt like Peter being told my coversheet on my TPS reports were missing. I got in trouble by 5 different people in a 10 minute span!
I can’t trust anyone. It’s bad enough my first rule for being me is, TRUST NO ONE!! But damn if I only I could. It would be nice to confide in someone or talk to them without fearing it is somehow going to bite me in the ass.
So if I’m liked/loved by people in Virginia, but not in Michigan. I have to wonder if it’s the region in which I live. Perhaps being in the belt-buckle of snow has made people bitter and cold hearted. Maybe I don’t belong here.