A few folks have asked why I prefer to be single now. It’s simple really. I’ve spent my whole life trying to please someone else. Wasted years thinking that making someone happy would make me happy. It never once worked. I always had to change for them, but they didn’t have to change for me. At least I never asked them to.
I suppose that’s partially my fault for always trying to please them and rarely myself.
But in my endeavors of dating to win the heart of someone, there were things that would just drive me round the bend. Especially in the past 8 years.
Talking about the ex
I’m guilty of this one, but I’ve had a lot of ex’s. So it’s a huge part of my past. Until now I was rarely single. Turns out I attract psychos and/or infidelity hounds real easy. Just seems my crazy rarely matched their crazy for long. I do try to not linger on it long in conversation. However, I’ve had to deal with so much of “my ex” from whoever I’m involved with it’s insane. Of course now I’m the topic of conversation from these people.
Put the damned phone down!
Can’t be without her phone and cannot keep herself from checking it or stopping mid conversation to answer or giggle at whatever was just sent/shared to/with her.
Speaking of women’s obsessions with their phone; why can’t they ever silence it? Hated going anywhere public just to hear the constant noises coming from her pocket. And why for the love of all that is holy, doesn’t anyone like using their phone as a damn phone?!?! Nope, only text… And we all know how much I love texting 😒
Constantly pulling her shorts and pants out of her crotch
This is distracting as all fuck. Why do you ladies insist on wearing things that don’t fit right? Go baggy if you have to! If you spend all day and night pulling your outfit out of your crotch repeatedly, then the fucking thing doesn’t fit! And don’t get all pissy with the men when they look at what you are doing. The whole room can see you yanking at your crotch 😡
I don’t have to suffer TV shows and movies I can’t stand
Over the years I’ve been tortured by every damned reality show there is. And if I choose to leave the room and do something else I get chastised for not spending time. Reality shows are complete bullshit. Talent shows are painful. People who watch Glee should be shot. No one randomly breaks into song during school in perfect pitch and harmony. Speaking of shit sing-along shows; why does every woman seem to love Rocky Horror Picture Show?
I always prayed for someone who gets me. Who shares my love of upbeat rock music, likes my shows or likes games. Never fails, I always pick the polar opposite.
Doesn’t matter anymore, I choose to no longer torture myself with these god awful dating rituals. Though recently I tried and I saw myself doing the same things all over again. Besides I think my heart finally died. I felt nothing. She liked me, but I wasn’t able to reflect any feelings more than friendship. I’m not sure if I should feel bad or just be content that I didn’t put myself right back into my old routine.
Now I finally get to be me. Though it’s hard considering my slowly fading health and the constant pain. Sure having someone to help me would be great, but at what cost? Had I spent the past 6 plus years in a full on relationship, I would not have the things I have. No drums, no guitars, no guns and probably no games. I’ve made some great personal achievements despite my living situation.
Fuck that. It’s time for me to be happy. I’ve wasted too much time on finding something that isn’t meant for me.