While it sucks balls to be alone all the time. I’ve rarely been without a companion in my life. Now I’m choosing to be. It’s hard. It’s hard not to wake up next to someone who I love. It’s no fun coming home to an empty house. I miss the warmth of another person.
What I don’t miss is the constant heartache of the people I let inside my life hurting me. Or spending all my time cleaning up after them or other things I won’t mention as it’s hurtful to people I love very much.
There are a lot of upsides though. Little things you don’t realize that add up over time.
The kids are long since grown and have families of their own. It’s good to know they have a lock on life and are able to stand on their own. That being said, with no (so-called) partner and no children to constantly chase, life is easier in some aspects. Though I would still give anything to hear, “Will you drive me [fill in the blank]?”. I do miss that.
Things I don’t miss though:
- Overflowing trash cans when I come home
- The mess on the wall behind the trash can
- Dirty clothes on the floor throughout the house
- Gross bathroom
- Destroyed bedrooms
- The gagging smell of nail polish remover
- Sink overflowing with dishes
- Shit credit score
- Always not having the money
- Washer and Dryer get used improperly
The best parts:
- Can eat what I want on pizza (too bad I’m sick of it)
- Do as I please without upsetting someone
- Listening to music I like
- I don’t have to suffer through shitty TV shows or movies (RHPS, Reality and “Talent” Shows, Glee, etc…)
- I no longer have anyone to belittle or berate me (at least in my own home)
- I come home to a clean house
- I don’t have to beg for others to help out around the house/yard
- The garbage cans stay clean much longer
I’m not opposed to getting into another relationship. But it will have to go slowly and she’ll have to make the first move.