I have never hated my life so much as I do now. It feels like no matter what I want to do, I am incapable of achieving anything positive. As the title suggests, I have to wear these stylish new socks because my heart won’t keep water out of my legs anymore. I could use pills, but they say I’m at risk of a stroke. Well golly gee.
A lot of my issues stem from the fact that my knee is still screwed up and it seems I can’t get much help without putting up a fight with the people in the healthcare profession. It’s freaking insane that it’s been over a year. It’s slowly getting worse. Making it harder to do anything productive at all. In so much I have special parking privileges now because of the pain that won’t subside.
Otsego Memorial or Munson Heatlhcare Otsego Memorial Hospital (holy shit-balls who came up with that mouthful of a stupid name). Didn’t fix shit when it came to handling my knee during the time it was under Workmen’s Comp. They said just do Physical Therapy and I’d be fine. No it didn’t heal and I got to the point I couldn’t sit on my ass doing nothing any longer at went to work since nothing was improving.
Two jobs later and I switch to Veteran’s Healthcare. Looking back, I’m not sure that was a good idea. The government took away my healthcare discount as soon as I signed up and now the VA is all I have for healthcare because I can’t afford private healthcare. Way to go Obama! Trump didn’t help this either. Except I no longer get penalized for not having personal care insurance.
The VA is virtually useless when it comes to their clinic. They hardly do anything in the office. You’re lucky if they give you a vaccination. Seems they are a front for scheduling you for Hospitals located in Saginaw and Detroit.
On top of the fact that first doctor I got says I should sit, elevate my legs, eat lots of vegetables and fatty meats, and lose weight. How do you lose weight sitting on your ass? Plus that diet is prison rape for your asshole.
You can’t just fire a doctor in the VA like you can in private practices. You have to arbitrate. So 2 months later, I get a new doctor who is starting over with new x-rays and MRI’s. I’m just so impatient anymore as I’m tired of no one actually giving me help.
I hate my job now. I’m surrounded by food, which is a bad idea for me. I have gained weight instead of losing it. It’s not as busy as it should be for deliveries. Seems for every event that comes to town, we slow down while it’s going on. Was always the opposite in prior jobs.
Between my job and it’s fucked up schedule and the VA, it’s seems I basically work to sleep and drive down state on my days off. When do I get time for me? When do I get to actually enjoy a day off? This working open to close (essentially) has got to stop. I don’t get a few hours do run errands or decompress after work like a normal job. It’s shower, eat, work. Then watch an hour of TV, sleep and repeat. On the two days I don’t go in until 4pm, I don’t do much as I don’t want to be tired at work. You know the whole not wanting to fall asleep at the wheel while delivering thing… I need 9-5 job like I used to have. I basically gave up stupid people stress for road-rage and exhaustion.
I hate were I live, I should’ve stuck it out at my trailer. I could’ve got a roommate, but that’s the upside to where I live, no roommate! Hate having roommates. Never, ever had good luck with a roommate.
I know what you’re going to say, move! Get a new job! It’s hard to just up and change when you’re moving to a smaller town than this one. Plus finding a job that’s handicap friendly and makes around $14 per hour isn’t going to be easy. Yeah I make $14 an hour on average at my current job. Even on shitty days.
Plus, all the friends I once had are gone now. They have moved on with their lives and when I want to chat with someone, it’s just random people who really could give a fuck less about me. Or we aren’t close because we don’t share the same values or ideals.
I just want a house and a dog. Play with my grand kids and that’s about it. Of course if they don’t fix my knee soon, I might end up disabled. It’s already turned funky colors. It’s like I can see my goals, but they are always just out of reach. Plus these socks just scream, “Never getting laid again!”. 😐