It Feels Weird

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Jet Pizza DeliveryIt felt so weird getting up Monday morning and not checking for updated software.  Not clocking in and doing tech support.  I’ve done it for so long.  It is such an embedded habit to do.  That’s all it had become over the years.  A habit.  It wasn’t a job anymore.  It was just something I did.  Day after day, year after year.  It’s only been a few days since the change.  Yet each morning I feel this urge to check for updated software, and want to start my day as I have for 14 years.

Instead it’s hard to get motivated, because I don’t start my new job until 11am.  The first 4 days of the week are rough because it’s from 11am to 8pm (one is noon to 9pm).  Makes for a very long day.  Then I have one short day from 5pm to 11pm.  Hard to really get anything done on the long days.  I’ll get home and all I will want to do is relax.

It’s going to take weeks to determine if I made a good decision.  Especially since I started in the slow season.  Then again, my history of decision making over the past three decades has been less than positive overall.  I’m getting too old to keep fighting so hard to make things work.  Would just be nice for a change for things to just work out.

I’m also worried about Christmas again this year.  In about a month I’ll be living alone again.  Which means I’ll be spending everything I make to keep the rent paid, and the heat and lights going.  I’d advertise for a roommate, but I will only have 3 months left on the lease.  Can’t ask someone to move for just 3 months.  At this point I don’t know if I’ll be renewing it.  Not that I want to move in the winter.  But a previous situation changed the lease from June to February.  All I can say is it wasn’t my doing.  No one in their right mind would want to start a lease in the winter.

Everything just feels weird.

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