I’ve been back now for 4 years. I have achieved some of my goals. Not as many as I had planned to achieve by now. As it is, my original plan for life never did turn out the way I hoped. Sometimes it feels like I may as well just hang it up and switch to plan B. Trouble is, I don’t have a plan B.
I’ve admitted my mistakes. For those, I am sorry. I know God has forgiven me. I’m still here when he simply could’ve let me die and be forgotten. I am truly thankful for that. I say a prayer every night letting him know just how thankful I am. I also pray that he bless all the souls, worthy and unworthy in hopes they too appreciate the blessings he’s given onto all of us.
I always made the best of the situations I was presented in my life. Even when it all fell apart completely and I had nothing left (2011 – 2012). I didn’t give up. I put my best foot forward, saved up enough money and got myself back to Michigan. I’ve reconstructed my life, my credit and I’m still working to be a better man emotionally, physically and financially. I did it on my own. Though, I still have some work to do.
If I could go back and change it at the beginning, I would. I still want to be the Dad I intended to be from the start. Now also, a grandpa 🙂
I enjoy spending time with my oldest son, and I love spending time with my grandson Noah. Who is happy to see me and plays with me. I’m still trying to spend more time with my youngest son and grandson Judah. I pray that changes soon before my time here is up.
However, do you remember when people talked to each other? I mean actually called up, or came over and talked about a trip they took or when their child did something special? Now it’s a low grade picture and a caption shared among certain groups or possibly publicly. If you’re lucky, you can get a couple of horribly worded paragraphs.
OK and sure you can “like” something. Or even now we can laugh, be thoughtful, angry, shocked and love something. Where’s the “fuck you” button, or don’t give two shits button? I bet they’d get used more than the others.
But here’s where you really find out who gives a shit and who don’t. People who used to call and tell you I love you, or want to talk about their life, now just wait for attention from everyone to see who wants to give them a like or some pity comment. Or wait for that praise on how pretty your 5000th selfie is. Seriously, for some of you beauty is only skin deep.
When a special occasion happens like a birthday, graduation, wedding or a “first” of some sort. Such as your baby’s first word or step. Is now a mere photograph or video online reduced in quality for easy loading on grandma’s phone. No one shares actual high quality photos or videos anymore. As an example. I have two kids who are married. Wedding photos? Why you can look at them on Facebook! Low grade, grainy quality, good luck putting them up on the wall and don’t look too closely as they are pixelated from trying to “blow them up” to fit a 5×7 photo frame. Same thing goes for my grand children. Can’t get an actual photo to hang up, just have to right click and save from Facebook. I live a little over 30 minutes away now. But unless I go and take pictures myself, this is all I get. Sadly, I generally am not there when something special happens.
Video’s are even harder to deal with. Your phone may be able to record in High Def or Ultra High Def, but good luck getting Facebook to allow you to download that quality. Phones generally automatically reduce quality when uploading to social media. Again, so you can look at it on a portable device quickly.
I remember a few short years ago, I tried share a life event on Facebook. Mostly because I was very weak and could barely speak cognitively and my mom didn’t know most of the phone numbers needed to contact folks. I got a lot of angry people telling me finding out on Facebook wasn’t cool.
Though I could say the same about finding out a month late that my step daughter was pregnant for the second time. By chance I was scrolling through old posts of hers. Which is hard to do when you have to fish for anything worth while among the bat shit crazy list of things I could care less about. Foamy says it best here:
Unfortunately I catch myself sharing things that I’m sure some of you don’t care about. Before Facebook, this would’ve never been known that I have such feelings about stuff. Though I don’t apologize for who I am. I know I’ve lost a few “friends” because of this. If you can call Facebook friends real friends. Some of these people I don’t really know, they just added me to their list or follow me. Though, I do try to keep things I share to a minimum.
Honestly though, I miss things the way they used to be. Family gatherings, talking on the phone or in person, and sharing photos and videos in ways that they can be appreciated by showing them off on a wall or full size screen. Mobile isn’t great for people with fading eyesight.
Hello my old friend. Of course you and I both know that’s simply the euphemism we use. We only kid ourselves with what we know to be true. We are one another’s archenemy. We have been for many years. So long in fact I forget why we became unfriendly with each other.
I propose strike an accord. I think we should work together.
Hear me out. You help me break the secret of creating Flying Monkeys. We train them to attack the stupid and the environmentally inhospitable. You can prey on those you find despicable as well. As the sleep deprived are much easier to conquer. Our strengths combined we will be able to reduce the human population while keeping those who would save our way of life and the planet of which we inhabit. Once we accomplish that, we can then rule the world!! [insert evil laugh here]
What do you say old friend? You give me peace and I give you an equal share in world domination 😈