Today marks 3 years since I’ve returned to Michigan. Unfortunately many of my plans haven’t gone as well as I had hoped for. There has been plenty of obstacles to overcome, death of those I knew but thankfully who weren’t close to me and lots of changes.
On the upside, I’m still alive. Which is a good thing. Still have pains in my chest fairly regularly. Haven’t had the time or the money to even bother with a cardiologist since I’ve been here. My family doctor has been watching me, knowing I can’t afford things like stress tests and fancy fees. I’m healthy enough to work, but can’t afford decent health coverage on my wages. I’m so pissed at Obama and yet our current available replacements don’t look any better. Can we vote to get new candidates? I digress.
Sadly some of the things I wanted to really do, like get close to my sons again, hasn’t really worked like I had planned. I had hoped to move to East Jordan, but it’s hard to find an affordable place and there really isn’t any work for me in that town. Even if I did, I don’t know if it would help much. With me working so much, it’s hard to find time. Though I’m less than an hour away. Perhaps things will progress this year. There have been good things happening though, such as Adam and Laura’s Wedding and the birth of my 3 grandsons. Judah Allen Fowler, Noah Allen Fowler (notice a pattern?) and Hayden LaPradd. So far I’ve only got to meet the two Fowler’s once, other than that, I’m watching them grow up on Facebook 😐 I so hope for an invite once in a while.
I’m very happy having gotten back to being able to play the drums. It’s been years upon years since I gave them up. When I got back, my first tax return afforded me my new drum kit. Sadly it’s not an acoustic kit, but I’m sure the neighbors are pleased not to hear me practice 😀 I had hoped to build up to doing an actual concert with my talented children. Still want to do it very much. I’m not giving up on that yet, but it’s certainly been postponed. Just one concert though. Not looking to make a career of it, simply fulfilling a dream. I’m anxious to share the experience.
I had also hoped to reconnect with old friends. In this time I haven’t been successful in making any new friends either. All of my gamer friends have disbanded and moved on to either a game free life or console gaming. Of which I’m still not into. I’m still a PC gamer, but try as I may, I’m a lifer when it comes to World of Warcraft. As before, I’m only playing by myself. Darla has expressed an interest in playing with me, but hasn’t really put much time into it yet. We were still working on just moving around before she ended up in surgery. She hasn’t touched it since. I even switched back to the Alliance so she wouldn’t have to play ugly monsters 🙂 I don’t play as much though. Work gets in the way 😉
As it was, finding a part time job was a hell of an adventure and I’m still seeking what I want to do for a career change. Something with less customer service stupidity would be nice for a change. Although as of May 22, I had to finally relent not working on Sunday to help sustain our household income while Darla heals from her colectomy and removal of an ovary. She’s healing quite well, but will be some weeks before she’s strong enough to work again. Hopefully soon we will be able to go on the long walks we planned to get exercise in. We have an exercise bike, but getting out of the house while it’s summer would be much nicer. Even if the town isn’t as pretty as it used to be.
I still don’t find my town as charming and pretty as I once did. It looks tired and worn out. The roads are horrible and the maintenance they do is an absolute joke in town. The interstate got a nice make over between Gaylord and Waters. Thankfully it’s finally spring, so I have the trees and flowers to distract me from the time worn buildings and trash laden sidewalks. Seems I’ve pretty much run the gamut on nostalgia around here already. Didn’t think it would be so lackluster…
The best I’ve experienced since my moving back is Darla and me reconnecting. Though that hasn’t been without it’s series of challenges and changes. From our engagement, to the multiple changes in plans and the unfortunate postponement. My mom seems to love her to death, which is a pleasant change in my life.
All in all it’s been an experience. Can’t say it’s been good or bad when you add it all up. It’s clear I still have work to do with my sons. I just don’t want to force myself into their lives. I’m not asking anything but forgiveness and acceptance. I also hope to make some new friends eventually. As well, I pray for a few more good years in health so I can spend them with Darla and my grandsons as well. Play my concert and die fulfilled in the knowledge I made some impact in this world. And leave some good memories for others behind.
Don’t come to my funeral to show how much you cared about me. Show me how much you care about me now.. While I’m alive.