Ever Wonder?

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In Deep ThoughtHave you ever took a good long look at your life and wondered if you made the right choices?  Most of you probably haven’t.  I know a lot of people say they have no regrets about the choices they made.  Perhaps they are comfortable with how their lives have turned out.  I can’t say mine has come close to turning out the way I wanted.  While some choices I made turned out incredible.  I have unfortunately wasted many years chasing a dream I could never seem to catch.  But like many, I have only moved forward.  Even though I frequently I looked over my shoulder to the past.  I am horribly nostalgic.  I would live in my past endlessly if I could.  Anyone who has spent any time on this site would know that.

Some people say things happen for a reason.  Though I sometimes think things may happen because you were an idiot and didn’t know that what you really wanted may have been right in front of you.

The biggest unfulfilled part of my life, is the fact I’ve never been truly loved by someone else.  I have always believed love should be forever.  Not just last a few months or years.  Someone in love should work it out regardless of the issues.  It shouldn’t be just given up on because things got rough.  Life happens.  Buck up and deal with it head on together.  I also feel love would never betray you.  Then again, I also don’t believe in meaningless sex.  You risk far too much just having it.  Whether it’s risking contracting an incurable STD or an unexpected pregnancy.  Both have life long consequences, so risking it just seems incredibly moronic.

I have wondered many times if there may have been someone in my past for me and I didn’t know it.  Someone who took me as I am.  Perhaps it was because I was young and didn’t see the signs.

Someone from my past has found me again.  Someone who I’ve thought about over the years and certainly has been brought up in conversations when it came to, “Who was your first serious girlfriend?” or “When did you lose your virginity?”.  She found me on Crackbook and we started talking again.  Over the past couple of weeks it became clear that we both would be interested in picking up where we left off so many years ago.

As luck would have it, she too has moved out of the area.  Only about an hour and a half south of here.  It’s doable.  At least to start.  Though we’ve both made commitments to our families.  Once things seem to be going well, we’ll have to see what compromises we can both come up with to keep not only each other happy, but still maintain our commitments as well.  Still I have hopes that it will move forward 🙂

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