Deal Breakers of Dating

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Woman throwing litter out of carThis might be a bit all over the place, but trust me there’s a point to it all.

So I’ve been back in the dating game a couple of years now after taking a break from relationships.  I’m rusty for sure.  And while there have been some really disastrous dates and conversations, I have so far made a few new friends.   It’s not picnics, movies and kisses.  But it’s a start 🙂

Something I saw the other day got me thinking of “Deal Breakers”.  Most folks have pretty much the same ideas of what makes for a bad relationship.  According to Ask Men, this is the top 10 Deal Breakers:

  1. She doesn’t back you up.
  2. She flirts with other guys.
  3. She neglects you publicly.
  4. She lies.
  5. She criticizes you.
  6. She disappears without telling you.
  7. She abuses you.
  8. She scolds you publicly.
  9. She has a substance abuse problem.
  10. She cheats.

Damn.  According to that list, I should’ve been divorced years ago.  Though now that I’m back on the market as it were.  I’ve realized a have a few more to add to that list.

See, the Alpine Village here isn’t as beautiful as I once remembered it.  I’m not sure if I was just blind to it or it’s because I spend roughly an hour a day or more walking around town and now I see all the empty and decaying buildings, the tons of trash all over the streets and the houses and yards filled with even more trash.   It would take about a month, using teams of people working around the clock to clean this town up.  Especially around the bridges over main street near I-75.

I’ve watched teenagers throw trash on the ground in complete disregard.  It made me want to beat a parent as they didn’t teach their children to respect where they live.  The other day I watched a woman open the passenger door and put a coffee cup on the ground in the parking lot next to the Rite-Aid.  She couldn’t be bothered to take it 30 feet or so to the outside trash can I had just passed.  This told me some things about this person.  They didn’t want the trash in the car, but they were too lazy to handle something so simple.  It actually pissed me off and I thought to myself, if she was my girl, I’d likely ask her to take care of it properly and if she gave me an attitude, then she can just get out of the car all together.  I mean if she can’t take a few minutes to care about the environment, she’s obviously too self-centered and lazy for me.  She could’ve just held on to it and threw it out at the next place they stopped to get out of the car.

Hell, even when I smoked, I didn’t throw the cigarette butts out the window.  I put them in the ashtray and emptied it when I got home or to a gas station trash can.  I mean lets not take this out of context.  I’m lazy to an extent, but when I open it, I close it.  When I dirty it or spill it, I clean it up.  When I use it, I put it back.  I put things where they belong.  It only takes a few minutes to do these things.  It’s not like a day killer to take a minute or two to be considerate to others or even to yourself.  My apartment is always clean, but that’s because I never let it really get dirty.  I’m not a clean freak.  But it is refreshing to not have to apologize about how my place looks or smells if someone randomly drops by unannounced.  Same goes when I had a car.

I’ve spent my time living with slobs, and it was gross.  I’m not doing that ever again.  So here’s my addendum to the Deal Breakers of Dating:

11.  She is too lazy to clean up after herself or be considerate to others.

If you can’t pickup after yourself or if your litter or dirty laundry is all over the place, I’m not going to be your butler.  And I don’t want anyone with such disregard for their home or town.

12.  She is self centered.

If you only talk about yourself and how great you are and never about anyone else.  I don’t care how pretty your face is, that will make it will dull quickly.

13.  She is high maintenance.

I’m not rich, don’t ever plan to be rich.  Don’t want to be rich really.  Just comfortable with the basics of life.  God provides me with all I need physically and mentally.  I don’t need material things.  I just want someone’s company.  Not their bills for their make-up, clothing, nails, hair, cars and jewelry.

14.  She is a drama queen.

If every conversation is about someone else and the deeds they did or didn’t do.  It makes me wonder if I’m just there as no one else will listen to you ramble on all day.  It’s even worse when you repeat the same story over and over to every different person we run into while together.  It’s like listening to a broken record of gossip.

15.  She is obsessed with her weight.

It’s one thing to be obsessed with your health, but if your weight is a daily topic, yeah…  It will get old quick.  While I’d love to have someone to help me as I would them try to stay on track with daily exercise and diet habits, hearing about how big your ass is daily will make it not seem sexy anymore and become just fat.  I like women’s butts of many shapes and sizes!  I cannot lie!

Maybe I’m being too picky, but I’m not going to settle anymore.  I’ve done that too often and ended up unhappy.  If all I’m going to be is an emotional sponge for a woman to unload on, or the maid, or the verbal punching bag, or end up in bankruptcy…  I’m just not into it.