No Smoking, No Pets.

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Cat SmokingBut what about a pet that smokes?  No, I’m kidding.  I don’t want any pet that is hooked on smoking.  And no, I didn’t create the picture, but it is rather funny.  Seriously I’m talking about the ad I answered to get this here (really freaking small) apartment.  While the No Pets, was a huge let down, the No Smoking was actually one of the bigger selling points.  That and it’s centralized location to everything I need.

I’ve cleaned the place up, and it is very nice for a small apartment.  The outside needs a lot of help, but that’s not my responsibility.  Though if someone doesn’t do it soon, I’m going to borrow a weed whacker before my stairwell is over run.  I’ve also considered replacing the battered mailbox just because I’m that kind of guy. That and I don’t like wet mail when it rains.  All fine and dandy.  Sure it’s a bit hot up here and hard to keep cool on warm days.  Thankfully we haven’t had many.

But what I’m not getting is my neighbors.  The old neighbors finally moved out about a month ago.  So the all night parties, the 2am, 3am and 4am suspicious dealings with money and whatever is in the palm of the person’s hands are finally done.  Outside of the obnoxiously loud exhausts of old cars, Harley’s and teenie-bopper family sedans with glass packs, it’s not bad for noise around here.  However, my new neighbors are chain smokers.  Why on earth would anyone pick an apartment that is No Smoking if they smoke more than most factories?  They can’t smoke inside, so what do they do?  They play Porch Monkey and chain smoke all evening long.  Their porch is directly under my porch.  Smoke rises.  This old house has leaks.  Smoke wafts in my front door.

Now I used to be a smoker myself.  I quit well over 4 years ago.  An interesting side effect of effectively quitting, is that now when I smell a cigarette, it makes me physically ill almost instantly.  Even just walking by someone who’s clothes are permeated with cigarette smoke twists my stomach.  Thus now I get the pleasure of it creeping through my door.  I can’t leave it open on cool days anymore because they are down there almost all evening.  It just baffles me.  There are so many places they could’ve rented that doesn’t have such restrictions.  Don’t get me wrong, I think the new neighbors are rather friendly.  They always say hello to me.  Just never stick around long enough to talk as I literally can’t take the smell.

The other part, no pets.  That’s something just about every ad I found included when I was looking for a place to live.  I was very heart broken knowing my best friend in the whole world would not be able to live with me.  Not that he’d fare well in an apartment anyways.  He likes to bark at passersby.  Vigorously.  Also the sharp staircase to my door would be murder on his old bones after a while.  So he’s better off living with family in VA.  I miss him so dearly though it hurts.  He’s by far the only creature on this planet that ever loved me unconditionally.  OK, I’m getting all misty now… Yes I miss my dog.  A lot!

Lately though, my friends and family have all been busy and I have been rather lonely here.  I so wish I could get a cat to keep me company.  My place is small, but I could deal with a cat.  Especially if I can get one that’s quiet and lazy, yet lovable.  That would do just fine.  But… Not allowed.