It’s been a very, very long time coming. I’m finally on my own again after what is easily the worst three years of my life. I would have gladly gone through being homeless again, then to have dealt with this much pain. Physically, mentally and emotionally.
I’ve finally moved on. I’ve finally made it back on my feet. While there is still a huge hill to climb, the worst is behind me now. Now it’s time to reconnect with my children, my family and my friends.
As of today, I have my own place. For the first time in many years. Granted, I always wanted to have a family and to grow old with someone I love. I’m hoping it’s not too late for that. Well, the growing old with someone I love thing at least. I have a family. Children whom I love far too dearly for them to ever actually know it.
For now I can cherish all the little things that I couldn’t for so long. Such as being able to turn lights on when I get up. It’s been a long number of years that I would be the first out of bed. There were so many days I had no clue what shirt I put on until I got to work. Because I didn’t want to turn on the lights so others could keep sleeping. I’d tiptoe about the room in the dark. If I ever go blind, I’d be alright I think, as I have been dressing in the dark for years.
The quiet. I no longer live next to a busy road or train track. I no longer live with someone trying to vacuum or have the T.V. up loudly while I’m on the phone with a customer when I work from home. Now I work from home full time, so I no longer have to deal with the loud echos in the office of cowboy boots clopping up and down the walkways. Also, I no longer have the obnoxious manchild to deal with. Constantly making unusual noises, talking out loud to no one, just to please himself all day long. It was enough to put me in a mental institution. The yelling and laughing they would do in the workshop just outside my office door. I’m all for fun at the workplace, but it makes for a crap setup for a person who has to talk on the phone to customers all day. It seems no one would even bother to check if I was on the phone before they do things like that. Half of the time I couldn’t hear the people I was on the phone with or they hear me. Not too mention the off color things that sometimes were said that I know the customer could hear. Things customers should never have to listen too, nor should I have to put up with to do my job. I can now actually get things done without saying “huh?” or “what?” repeatedly.
Speaking of work, no more will I have to spend 45 – 60 minutes (sometimes longer if there’s a bridge opening or accident) just to drive either to or from work. Worst part is that it’s only 17 miles. Which means I don’t have to be stuck in my car wasting 1 to 2 hours of my time each day sitting in traffic. Which was making me spend nearly $70 a week in gas.
Speaking of the bridge, no more bridge tolls everyday. Plus if I do go somewhere, I might be able to go over 35 miles per hour for more than 30 seconds. I got so sick of the traffic and stop lights in Hampton Roads, Virginia.
I no longer have someone in my house that may as well be a stranger to me. Having that made me feel guarded, like I wasn’t allowed to be myself. Excuse my french, but fuck that! I want to be me, loved for who I am and not expected to be something I am not. If I want to walk around the house without my shirt on, so be it. Now I can.
Best of all, I finally get to live in a clean, and clutter free home! I can say I’ve lived with some Class “A” slobs before. Some who now live in homes that would make you sick to your stomach. (I’ve got the pictures to prove it.)
It’s a freedom I haven’t felt in well over a decade. Granted, I need to polish my cooking skills now that I’m the only cook. Pointers are welcome (hint, hint).
Though with having lost just about everything I own. I would like it if my friends and family can keep an eye out for things on my list. I can’t even make toast right now. I don’t have a toaster or a microwave. Among a ton of other things. Also going to learn to make homemade bread and bake. Give my loved ones some incentive to visit me at my new home 🙂
Now to do something about this screaming back pain…