Daily Archives: April 9, 2012

The Remainder of My Life

I’ve had some time now to really think about things.  Now that the initial flames from my nearly fatal incident.  That and everything else that was flooding my mind.  All in all, it’s nearly over.  Time for me to begin fresh one last time.  I realize that I really only have a few years left in this world, and while I mean to squeeze out every last minute by losing weight, eating better, continue walking and being more active.  Time to make new friends and re-embrace the family that loves me regardless of my recent situations.  Everyone involved knows exactly what I mean by that.  Those who don’t, simply need to ask me or watch and learn 🙂

For many years I’ve chased the dream of a wife and kids.  Three failed marriages and many bad decisions later, I realize that perhaps I was just not cut out for it.  Short of death, communications have been lacking.  I love my kids regardless of what they may think of me.  I love the kids that were never mine as if they were.  They are all grown now and on to lives of their own.  I wish them all the luck in the world not to repeat my mistakes.  While to many this isn’t the highest of goals to achieve.  However, the caveats are that, I never wanted to be rich.  I was always happy so long as the bills were paid and I could come home to them every night.  That was good enough for me, but it seems never good enough for the ones I chose as my partners.  They always wanted more.  For better or for worse meant nothing to them.  When the worse came, they up and moved on.  Claiming things like we grew apart.  We didn’t grow apart, they simply wanted more financial stability.  Proving repeatedly that money means more than love.  I’m hurt emotionally, but I’m surviving.  However I am changing my goals.  I’m not changing who I am.  I still welcome someone to love me.  However they must love me as I am.

HD Video CameraI want to finish my movie.  Really it’s just a short film.  Something I wrote the script for in 2007.  I even went as far as finding voice actors on the net to cover the parts of the callers, the narrator and other fill-ins.  The film itself is nearly done short of needing an actor, and two extras.  A place to shoot, some props and an HD video camera with some software.  OK, so it’s only half done.  I stopped when I realized the equipment I bought was defective and couldn’t get the company Samsung to do anything about it.  With lack of further funds to buy a new camera, I stopped the project and all but forgot about it.  It’s time to dust the pages off, buy a new camera, find some college students eager to make YouTube gold.

It’s about a tongue and cheek look at a support tech and his typical day and how customers could make life so much easier by simply following some rules.  The Ten Rules for Calling Tech Support.  Anyone who has seen the script loved it.  I’m sure it won’t win me any awards, it will still be a load of fun for everyone involved as well as those who watch the finished product.  This is my first goal.  Anyone who can contribute in any way are welcome to do so.  Please contact me!

DrumsMy second goal will require me to save up a few bucks first and buy an old used drum kit.  Because I want to join a band.  I don’t want to join a band trying to be famous like I did in years past.  I just want the group of guys who get together on weekends and jam out in a garage or warehouse somewhere.  Perhaps like in high school, perhaps play at private parties or small gatherings if we happen to be any good.  This would be more of a social experience for me than a venture to make money.  Relive the glory days a bit.  I don’t think I’ll ever be as good as my son on the skins, though perhaps someday I can really sit down and show him his old man can and has.  One thing I gave up to be the dad was my drum kit.  So my children really never have seen or heard me play outside of a Drumscape machine at the Busch Gardens arcade.  Rock on!

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{dŭm'ăs-ə-fō'bē-ə} The Fear of Stupid People.

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