Making Work Friends

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Making Work FriendsIt’s been 3 years now since I left Widomaker in favor of having a local full time job.  Mostly out of guilt, as my employer in Virginia paid all sorts of money on my behalf to keep me employed with the company.  While insanely generous, it was also based on my doctor telling me I was heading for the grave several years ago.  Instead, I’m still kicking and feeling pretty decent despite all my handicaps and weight issues.

Here’s the thing though.  Since I left Virginia to come to Michigan, I’ve had the worst time making friends.  Hell even reconnecting with old friends here has been nothing short of a shit-show.  Of course, I immediately think I’m the problem in this scenario.  I’m the common denominator.  Yet…  I still talk to the Widomaker friends I have been with for 14 years and we have a good time.  We never miss wishing each other happiness on birthdays, holidays and so on.  We buy each other coffee long distance.  The loved ones I had in Virginia still love me.  They still wish I was there with them instead of being so far away.

Here in Michigan, I haven’t had much luck.  I’ve had a few part time jobs prior to the full time job I’ve have now.  None of which could I make a real friend.  Every single time I think I’ve made a friend, they find a way to throw me under the bus at work for something.  Some have screwed me over outside of work.  Every time I confide in them, they betray me.  Then they come back to me like nothing happened.  This last time, I swear to God I felt like Peter being told my coversheet on my TPS reports were missing.  I got in trouble by 5 different people in a 10 minute span!

I can’t trust anyone.  It’s bad enough my first rule for being me is, TRUST NO ONE!!  But damn if I only I could.  It would be nice to confide in someone or talk to them without fearing it is somehow going to bite me in the ass.

So if I’m liked/loved by people in Virginia, but not in Michigan.  I have to wonder if it’s the region in which I live.  Perhaps being in the belt-buckle of snow has made people bitter and cold hearted.  Maybe I don’t belong here.


Self Driving Cars

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Self Driving CarWhat kind of a lazy, self-indulgent ass-hat do you need to be in order to have a self-driving car?  I had the insane displeasure of renting one of these things a week ago to take down state.  Not only was it tight as hell to fit in for an SUV/crossover thing due to all the nonsense stuffed inside, but then I wasn’t warned it was self-driving.  Found out when I put the cruise control on and it fought me for control.  In short, I fucking hated the trip in this thing.

Self Control

I’m a cruise control driver.  I even use it in town to keep from getting tickets.  Because if the music is good, the car goes faster by some odd magic 😉  So about an hour into the trip is when I noticed something odd.  The road was mostly empty until I got further down state and morning was becoming midday.  When the car got near another car, it slowed down.  I was wondering why it felt like I lost power.

Then I started picking up good vibrations.  I am a conscientious driver.  I watch the road and know when to pass.  I don’t need a car to think for me.  So when I try to pass, I get a vibration and the steering wheel is actually fighting me.  WTF?  Don’t presume what I want to do you fucking car!

Too Much Tech

I love tech.  But these cars are going to be maintenance nightmares with all the expensive sensors, servos and starters that need replacing as they get worn out.

Not to mention I’m tired of my tech trying to out smart me.  When I text, the phone thinks it knows what I’m going to say.  Now I’ve got a car that thinks it knows where I’m going.

Engine Shut Off

Auto shut off when stopped.  Holy fuck I hate the idea of this.  They don’t replace the starter with something more heavy duty.  No they just want you to maintain your car more often when it wears out quickly.  And a lot of other parts.  Scotty Kilmer explains it best.

But it’s jarring when you stop and the car shuts off then starts again to go.  You feel the jerk of the engine starting.  Doing this repeatedly in tight traffic is annoying as fuck.

Don’t want one, don’t need one.  I hope when I buy a new truck I can get it without all the nonsense.  Or I’ll continue to buy used.


I Used to Love Halloween

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Not any more.  At all.  Even Haunted Houses are a joke if they exist anywhere anymore.  Last one I went to in 2012 had security guards next to the actors.  So everything was a let down because you knew it was coming.  Foamy says it best.


You Gotta Want It!!

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You Gotta Want ItI’ve come to a realization in the past couple of years.  If you want to defeat a habit, make a life change or defeat an addiction.  You gotta want it.  Really want it.  Not just say it’s something you hope to achieve.  Not some useless New Years Resolution.  You have to make yourself commit and make it happen.  Sure friends or family may help you.  Generally speaking, they really won’t be much help, if at all.  They may remind you, harp on you or even drive you insane with it.  But in the end.  It’s you and you alone that has to make it happen.

I have done some damn amazing things in the past year alone.  One or two I did years ago because it was going to kill me if I didn’t.

In this past year (2020), I have achieved:

In the past 8 years, I have achieved:

  • Being 100% self sufficient (I rely on no one to live my life)
  • Freed myself from a toxic, money draining and unfaithful relationship

In 2009 I achieved:

  • Quit smoking for good

I tried patches, cutting back and a number of other ways.  In the end, I simply quit without any help other than my desire to not smoke anymore.  Period.  I got angry and just did it.

I’m on a roll and I’m not stopping.  I encourage you to stop wishing for change and make it happen.  In the end, you gotta want it.



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Marriage OnlyWhy do so many women obsess about marriage?  I made the mistake of trying to curb my loneliness recently by trying to date again.  Date.  Not get married.  Hopefully fall in love.  Isn’t that the idea?  Love.  Love will hold you together.  At least that’s what I want.

Love should conquer all, but I’ve only ever seen it last until the money runs out that she spent on shit we don’t need.  Or she finds a new dick to climb.

I can’t count the number of times I heard things like, “I’ll always love you”, “No matter how bad things may get, I’ll stick by you”, “Forever yours”, “You’re my one and only”.  Only to find them in bed with someone else.  One of them still thinks I’m clueless about it 😈

I know I’m not alone, there are hundreds of YouTube channels and websites about it.

Well this time I’m keeping my money sweet-cheeks.  You can’t have it.  Even if it’s true love, we’ll live like roommates.  If, you truly love me, you’ll be content with that as I’ll likely spend my spare money to make you happy anyway.  I refuse to let it or you ruin me financially again.  I’m doing good and I don’t intend to relent my success in the name of “love”.

I’ve had to build myself back up time and time again after this thing called marriage.  To tell me not wanting to get married makes me a horrible person, makes you a controlling bitch.  Marriage is nothing more than a contract that basically says, if the woman becomes unhappy, she can fuck your finances, take half and more of your money, take the house you worked hard to get and suck you dry the rest of your life.  I got lucky the first three times only coming out with bankruptcies on their crazy ass spending habits.  That, and being homeless.  I haven’t the faintest clue why I considered it a forth time a few years ago.  I must have been high.

Listen ladies who are in your 40’s and 50’s, chances are you’ve been divorced before.  Once or twice.  Possibly more.  You know marriage doesn’t mean love.  Hasn’t in a long time.  Subsequent marriages are statistically higher in failure rate.  So why are you still insisting on marriage?  Seems to me, you know it will lock the man into financial security for you.  Therefore you plan to fuck him over.  NO FUCKING THANK YOU!

Here’s how a marriage license should read.

Dearest husband, if any of the following apply:

  • I get bored
  • I become unhappy
  • You so much as look at another woman in a way I don’t approve
  • I find better cock
  • I find better money
  • You don’t give me what I want
  • You become disabled, and I don’t want to care for your feeble ass
  • Forget any anniversary, birthday or holiday gift
  • You don’t make enough money

I get to take 1/2 of AYS (All Your Shit), plus the house and the nicest car we have.  As well as make you pay out the ass for me to fuck other guys/girls and take your kids while turning them against you.  Oh and you have to pay for them too.

I worked hard for what I got.  You can have my heart…   If you are worthy.  The rest is mine.  Love should keep us together just fine.  Not a piece of paper and insanely expensive jewelry.

Oh… and if I end up on disability because of my levels of pain and that’s throws you into a tizzy, then I know you were only concerned with the money honey.  What’s that you women always say?  My body, my choice!



Got on Keto

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Down 40 PoundsI didn’t really say anything on here, but I told co-workers.  I just wasn’t ready to go crazy with this until I was sure it was working.  I’ve lost 40 pounds doing the Keto Diet.  To be specific, Cyclical Keto.  Where I give myself 1 cheat day or in my case, one cheat meal per week.

I started this diet on June 15 and as of today have lost a total of 40 pounds.  I should be more excited as this is fairly substantial.  I’m not too excited as I let things get out of control for a while.

A few years back when I was doing daily walks, I had lost 50 pounds in total.  I weighed 310 pounds.  That’s when I had my first heart attack.  It took me nearly a year to lose those 50 pounds.  I’ve damn near done that in just 3 months this time around.

The problem I have is that after my heart attacks (3) in 2012, I could hardly walk to the end of the drive way and back (like a 10th of a mile long driveway).  It took weeks to get to walk normal distances again.  I still can’t lift a whole lot for whatever reason.  Plus, now my right knee is damaged and won’t be repaired until I lose more weight.

I’m getting close to the weight were I collapsed with a heart attack and oddly I’m scared that it will happen again.  I realize it shouldn’t matter this time as I have my stents and the doctor says I’m actually in pretty good condition despite my weight.  (unlike my doctor who swore I would be dead in two years) 😡  I guess he was trying to motivate me.  I took it literally and basically accepted it as fact.  The whole reason I quit my work from home job is from guilt of not dying and he was paying good money for me to work in a different state.  Jason is an amazing person, I’ll always be thankful for what he’s done for me.  I just didn’t want to keep taking advantage if I wasn’t holding up my end of the bargain as it were.

So yeah, I should be more excited about my weight loss.  I’m always untrusting and skeptical these days.  Hopefully I’m wrong and can lose enough weight in a year to get my knee fixed and live a number of years more.

If I get down far enough, I think I’ll reward myself with a leather jacket.  What do you think?

Leather Jacket


Thou Shalt Not Take My Rights

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Smith Wesson MP 15 Sport IIFirstly educate yourselves.  An AR-15 is NOT the most used murder weapon.  It’s a semi-automatic rifle with fancy black plastic to make it look tactical.  You can buy similar hunting versions with wooden accessories.  Shoots the same ammo.

Those of you who support the ban of guns to average law abiding citizens, are doing absolutely nothing to take guns away from criminals.  You are simply enabling them.

By taking away our rights to keep and bear arms is to say that:

  • A rape victim must simply lay down and take it
  • A murder victim must struggle the best they can and hope they win or die painfully
  • Every parent must stand idly by and watch their child die when his/her life has been taken by a criminal
  • Every business owner must forfeit his/her livelihood and possibly their lives when their establishment has been robbed or looted
  • For home and business owners to stand defenseless in the face of these rioters who threaten their very lives
  • For home owners to allow the home the invested time and money into to be robbed and family member hurt or possibly killed during a robbery

Blue Lives MatterThe average police response time is 7 – 10 minutes.  It takes less than seconds for a criminal to ruin lives.  Do you want to wait for them?  Trust me, you don’t.  You wish to defund the police or in some cities, disband them all together.  So, who’s going to protect you?

I signed up to protect those I love and those around me.  If you go forward with removing the protection of the police, I’m less likely to want to protect you.  Especially since you’re trying to remove a layer of protection I respect and need.


What the anti-gun community doesn’t understand and doesn’t see the facts before them.  Gun control as they see it will never work.  In cities with the most gun control, have the highest crime.  The now lawless towns letting looters and rioters take over have gun control and no control over their city.

What they also don’t understand, in this country, is that if they outlaw guns; they will turn millions of lawful Americans into criminals overnight.  If pushed we will fight back.  Don’t push us.



The World in Turmoil

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DiceIf you compared a human to a rock, the similarities of how we become who we become apparent in time.  What makes us what we are today, is how we were shaped as time moved on.  Things that happened to us would add dirt or remove some surface over time.  The people we interact with can change our shape ever so slightly or tragic events can remove larger portions, turning us into a different shape completely.

I’m a man of many many thoughts.  I have a huge array of talents.  I have so many moods these days it would make most peoples head spin trying to keep up with me.  I have had my share of triumphs and tragedies.  In some cases, more tragedies than one person should ever withstand.  Still I am who I am.  I don’t intend to change.  I think of myself as a decent person, though I’ve grown weary in trying to trust others.  I don’t see that changing.  My rock has become more like a multi-sided die.  One I constantly roll to see what comes up next.

I have witnessed the world I live in.  A world in complete turmoil and I don’t understand why so many choose to watch the world fall apart rather than do something.  But before my rock turns to dust, I want to see it set right.

Suddenly everything is wrong.  When all my life it was fine.  People are now telling you to change how you think, how you talk, how you act.  Otherwise you are a racist, insensitive, micro-violent person.  What the actual fuck?  If you don’t immediately agree with these people they will throw a temper tantrum and lose their shit over it.  Having opinions of your own is not allowed.  You are no longer allowed to speak your mind.

These people want to take your right to free speech.

What’s worse is the government and businesses are jumping on board to bow down to all this incredible nonsense.

Two years ago, if you told me you were gay, I’d say cool and move on with my life.  If you told me you aren’t a woman but a man-goat, I would raise an eyebrow and shake my head and walk away.  I wouldn’t irritate you with your life choices.  Doesn’t mean I believe in any of it.  To me it’s a mental sickness.  Dr. Cretella breaks it down in this video.

But I left you alone to live your life as you choose.  Now you come to me and threaten me if I don’t change my ways and agree with how you see life.  No, I won’t.  I’ll fight.  If you do it to a child, it’s child abuse.  If they want to do it, fine.  Let them grow up first.

I’m glad I live in a small town.  I used to live in a larger city.  Right now that city is experiencing riots and protests.  The media will tell you it’s peaceful.  Yet you can search the internet and find it’s far from it.  Someone is controlling what the majority sees.

Groups like Antifa and Black Lives Matter Rioters are trying to change the world and they are doing it through violence and fear.  What makes them any better than any other extreme terrorist groups?

Yes, bad cops should be removed and punished.  But de-funding or disbanding the police completely is a moronic idea.  You think things are bad now?  Strap the fuck in, it’s going to get worse if you do that.

Unfortunately, if these loopy Leftists and Libtards get their way, the police will no longer be around to help.  You’ll have to protect yourself or lay down and die.  Neither are good choices.  If the Right and the Conservatives don’t get off their asses soon, it’s going to be up to the rest of us to handle the situation.  It may be a very long, lawless winter.  Are you prepared?

These people want to take your right to protect yourself and your loved ones.

And because we didn’t do what we should’ve done when these radical youths were children.  This is what we get.

This is insanity.

We could have stopped them at age six with a spanking.

We could have stopped them at age 15 with a school expulsion.

We could have stopped them at age 20 with principled professors who stood their ground.

We could have stopped them two weeks ago with the simple application of local police. But that was somehow deemed “racist.”

Now we’re going to have to stop them with force. Otherwise, we will be ruled by a crybully class of screaming sociopaths who destroy everything in their path.

I have my beliefs and you don’t get to tell me what I’ve known all my life to be true is wrong just because you have feelings.

These nutjobs are destroying the Nuclear Family.  These unhinged children are trying to erase history in the name of “racism”.  Tradition is being removed in place of some world where bathroom designations are a national issue.

We are not going to change the world back by posting videos and writing things on Facebook.  Or even a blog.

I only write here to warn you, I will stand up for my freedoms.  I want my America back.


Look Twice

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Look TwiceI just want to say I love motorcycles.  I spent much of my youth on power lines trails and dirt roads and trails.  I even hit the road a few times.  My best friend had a motorcycle, a street bike and he never once offended me with his riding.  I was more of a off-road/enduro kind of guy.

I want to say most bikers don’t bother me, but that would mean the majority follow the rules or are at the very least considerate.  I’m gonna have to say … maybe 50/50 or more like 40/60 with the minority number being the good guys.  A lot of riders turn into assholes from the moment their bum hits the seat.

I was planning on using footage from my dash cam to prove my point with a video, but it got fried in the summer sun last year.  I have yet to replace it, but I caught all sorts of moving violations…  Here’s some examples.

When it comes to motorcyclists, it seems the white and yellow lines on the roads are not to keep you in your lane.  They are specifically for the motorcycles so they can go twice as fast through traffic.

If you’re in a group of motorcycles, you can run red lights and stop signs.

Harley riders love that loud engine sounds.  It doesn’t matter it’s well over 120dB (decibels).  Did you know you can lose your hearing if sound is over 80dB?  But it gets louder if they are going under a bridge?  Motorcyclists live by some apparently mandatory rules for loud pipes.

And you as a rider must follow these strict rules for making sure everyone knows you’re right next to them:

  • You must rev your engine sitting still.
  • You must rev your engine when there is a baby sleeping; whether it’s in the car or in the house nearby.
  • Revving your engine next to a car is a must.
  • Also regularly in private neighborhoods where many people are sleeping because they work nights and you’re driving during the day.
  • Also rev your engine if there’s a migraine sufferer nearby.

Remember to always look twice, because (most) motorcyclist are assholes.


Mid 2020 Updates

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Yeah updates are lacking lately as nothing really fun is going on.  Unfortunately the last several posts have been rather negative.  I really didn’t want to continue down that road as the world is in enough trouble with riots, screwy laws and hyper-obsessive politicians.

So just some words as to the few things happening in my life.  Some are exciting, others are exciting to just me I suppose.

So as mentioned a few times, besides working myself into the ground, this plandemic has been rather good in the income department.  Thus I’m looking to buy a house finally.  Meaning I’ve rebuilt my credit completely and have a loan approval.  Hard part is finding something I can afford in the location I want.

My music collection is nearly complete, just waiting on things to get shipped to the distributor so they can ship them to me.  I gave up on the amp cabinet from Germany.  It’s been almost 3 months and nothing.  I’m sure they all blame Covid.  I’ve been up and at’em every day since the start.  I find that no excuse.  Of course I have to wait until said house is bought so I can actually put them up to play them.

I’ve actually made a new friend 😊  It’s kind of exciting to me.  I haven’t made any true friends in a number of years.  I can say one I made years ago actually remembered my birthday, unlike some relatives I have.  My new friend is a budding writer and I’ve managed to read some of her work.  Very impressive!  And I’m not saying that just to suck-up.  It’s really good.

It’s been 7 months since I finally ditched World of Warcraft for The Elder Scrolls Online.  I’m totally happy there.  I can finally lay my old toons to rest.  I know, I know…  I’ve said that so many times before and end up running back.  I swear to the good lord above, this time I’m done.

Introducing the new Theodas!

Theodas Bloodthorn – Necromancer/Vampire
Theona Helwood – Sorcerer/Vampire

Anyway, that’s about it.  Still waiting for things to settle down so I can spend more time with the kids.  Seems like I’m always waiting for a chance to do that.  Hopefully things will happen positively soon.  I’ve become insanely impatient for all the nonsense to end and resume life as I know it.


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