Health

Stress Relief Comes to the Android Finally

Carmageddon for AndroidToday Carmageddon (the 1997 original) was released on the Android phone and tablets.  Months after the iCrap version was released.  Sadly it’s missing the ability to upload videos directly to YouTube, but it’s not missing the gore and mayhem of the game itself!  It plays and looks better than ever!

Yes, this is an actual screenshot from my own Android Phone.  And yes, those are dead cows on the road.  The dead people are behind me :twisted:

Finally a game I can play when people piss me off and I’m not near my computer to play Grand Theft Auto.  I can just race, kill peds and blow up other drivers at my leisure :)

Just in time, as moving, especially a thousand miles.  Can be incredibly stressful.  Considering my traveling companion, it will be nearly miraculous if I don’t end up stressed along the way.  So at the hotels along our journey, this will come in really handy.  {laughs maniacally}

Download on Google Play Crap Store

That’s Bad for You!

That's Bad for You!Now there is four words I have grown absolutely sick to death of hearing.  It’s nearly as bad as someone calling me Colorado.  Forty four years and it’s still not funny.  Every time I hear “That’s bad for you.”, all I want to do is develop inhuman strength and punch a hole in the person’s head.

Of course it’s bad for you.  Just about every thing in the world is bad for you.  I’m pretty sure they air you are breathing reading this is likely bad for you.  Pollen, dust, dander, allergens, toxins from cars, factories and every other byproduct of all things man made that we’ve created over the past millennium .  Though I’m pretty sure you need to breathe or you will die.  So in a way it’s also very good for you.

Don’t get me started on sex.  It’s likely more bad than good for you.  STD’s, children, the next morning trying to remember his or her name…  Yet that doesn’t stop people from having it.  I know someone who has had more sex partners in the past 2 months, than 5 average folks would have their whole lives combined.  But hey, they’re on birth control, so it makes it alright.  (shudders)

Diet foods contain insane amounts of sodium in many cases.  Which for a person like me is very bad.  Nuts, while fattening, is good for the heart.

Even though I’ve radically changed my diet.  Got my cholesterol in check and have been losing weight.  It never seems to fail that at least once or twice a week, I hear these words because of something I am about eat or do, is bad for me in their opinion.

God bless everyone for their concern, but holy cow give it a rest!  I can’t even really be sure if it’s genuine concern, or some sort of programmed response based on something they hear, or read about once.  Which really brings to question if they remember it correctly.

Yes, I still splurge on eating ice cream or something.  I’m not going to die a complete miserable bastard.  Sure there are diet deserts, but I like what I like.  Just because there’s some healthier choice out there, I’m still going to eat what I like.  I still manage to keep things in check to my own satisfaction.

And for all the carb counting and fearing humans… I present unto thee my Lord and Master!

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Foamy makes a good point in the next video, about the health ramifications of puncture wounds in the throat.

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Besides, constantly saying “That’s bad for you!” or continuing to call me Colorado, may end up being bad for you!

Surgery Tomorrow

Dr. ZoidbergI’m really getting sick and tired of having things like this happen to me…  I guess I should explain for those who didn’t already know.

About six weeks ago, I noticed a very large lump that seemed to suddenly appear on my left breast.  Naturally I got really worried.  Immediately looked up Breast Cancer in men.  Turns out it can happen, but apparently it’s very rare.  I was also very frustrated.  I mean I gave up smoking over 4 years ago.  I exercise at least 5 times a week by walking.  I’ve changed my diet considerably.  My cholesterol is normal.  I’ve lost over 60 pounds.  Why does this keep happening to me?!?

So now I know what a mammogram is all about.  Sadly I can see why women wouldn’t want to get one.  Without decent insurance, they charge over $1100 just for the exam, and then another $250 to read it.  Yet the whole visit only took 15-20 minutes and I had the results before I walked out.  I’m in the wrong damned business.  I wanna get away with charging people that kind of money just to take digital pictures of them.

The good news is, they tell me it’s just Lipoma.  Still, it’s pretty big and while it can be lived with, this one is causing me almost constant discomfort.  I guess because of it’s size.  It’s over 7.5 centimeters.

I’m not sure why I waited until now to tell everyone.  When I found out, I only told a handful of people.  I’m not sure if it’s because I’m actually embarrassed for once to have a lump on my breast.  Or if I worry that what few friends I have will get sick of reading about my issues.  Then again, if they were real friends, that wouldn’t be an issue.   So yeah, I’m posting about it now.

Although frankly I’m still scared to go in tomorrow.  I know it needs to be removed.  It’s very large and makes it hard to sleep or sit for very long.  It’s also hard for me to want to be in public as it’s rather noticeable.  I’m also worried about things like the I.V.  They always promise they’ll do a good job and I end up with a bruise that won’t go away for a month or more because they didn’t do so hot after all.  Though I should be out in a few hours and back home.  I should be able to work from home on Saturday and capably house sit for my ex-mother-in-law, whom I still love dearly.  Just per-surgery jitters I guess.  Never actually get used to these kind of things.

Although your prayers and wishes are always welcome :)

I’m Craving Some Vacation Time

RVI’m going out of my mind lately.  Just when I thought I had my medicines straight, I end up feeling like my body is going to either explode or shutdown completely.  On top of it, working in the complaint department for every whiny a-hole that can’t get on Facebook or the email they sent 2 seconds ago hasn’t arrived in Paraguay yet.  So now their panties are bunched up over it.  Oh and let us not forget the endless waiting to finally go home.  It’s enough to make someone go postal.

Not to mention, although I have before….  A true, honest to goodness vacation is something I haven’t seen since 1988.  At least not one that I’ve actually gotten to go somewhere I’ve never been before, actually enjoy myself and truly relax.  Sure there was that trip to D.C.  However, it was a one day trip, no stay over and the rest of the time I was at home.  Outside of that, it’s been stay at home vacations or go visit family.  I love my family dearly.  I really do.  Though I really, really want to just get away from everything for a few days and just forget my life is as it is these days.  To quote Ben Affleck in Jay and Silent Bob Strikes Back:

When Lord? When the fuck can your servant ditch this foul-mouthed little chucklehead to whom I am a constant victim of his folly, so much so that it prevents him from ever getting to kiss a girl! Fuck! When, Lord when? WHENS GONNA BE MY TIME?”

OK so, not exactly the words I was looking for, but you get the point.  When? When is going to be my time?  I mean all I’m asking for is a bit of happiness in this world and some time to actually enjoy life for a change.

It would also be really nice if I could not constantly feel like I need to be with in a 5 mile range of a hospital…

I just want to get away.  Don’t have to be real far.  Doesn’t need to be exotic.  Certainly don’t need to be expensive.  Not even glamorous.  Just away.  Just me and someone special.  Alone for several days just doing whatever we feel like doing.  It’s not like I don’t have the vacation time.  Last time I used any of it, I was technically not working.  Though, I certainly wasn’t enjoying myself either.

Problem is, I don’t have the money.  Nor do I have anyone to cover me at work.  Thanks to only having 2 whole employees.  Hell, can’t even call in sick…

Just so damned frustrating….

My Heart is Still Beating

HeartHey everyone!  Here it is, one year since my near fatal heart attacks and I’m much stronger and feeling better than ever!  I’m still fighting to lose the weight, and I’m on my way to living much more normal lifestyle and I couldn’t be more excited about it!!

Stacey and I are doing very well.  It’s been a few months now and we’ve grown really close to one another.  I’m anxious to actually start going out with her in person when I finally get home to Michigan.  I think I’ve gotten someone great for company to help get me away from the computer some and begin to use my heart for something other than what moves my blood through my veins :)

Between the exercise, food changes, I think I mostly got my meds straight now and warm and fuzzy feelings going on, this is starting to turn out to be a great year!!

Waiting, Weight, WoW and Windows 8

Waiting, Weight, WoW and Windows 8It’s been a couple of weeks since I posted anything.  While I am working on a project, it’s not ready for public view.  It’s a long view plan, so I may drop hints from time to time about it.  As for now, an update for those who still would like to know ;-)

Waiting…  Yes, I’m basically just waiting.  I hate waiting.  Feels like I’ve been doing it all my life at times.  From waiting in the parking lot for my girlfriend to come out of school (way back in the day).  Waiting in line at boot camp.  Waiting for summer, waiting for special events.  The list goes on.  Right now I’m waiting to move.  May is the target month.  Still not sure of the exact date.  Some days it gets very hard to wait.  I made a promise to wait for someone else though.  Otherwise I would be in the car right now.  Still… Waiting sucks.

Weight…  Sadly I am still just over 300 pounds.  I did not make my goal by Christmas as I had hoped.  Just means I must keep trying.  I did stop doing my walk during the two weeks of shopping frenzy.  I know I could’ve just went elsewhere, but the idea is that I just couldn’t take the crowds.  Short of driving miles away from here just to get some peace, I just said phooey on the lot and took a couple of weeks off.  Probably was a good idea as the flu is running wild here.  Virginia is one of the highest outbreaks of flu this year.  I don’t relish having it along with all the other crap I deal with.  I’m back to walking, I will succeed.

WoW…  Yes, I’m back to playing World of Warcraft.  I just can’t find a game that “does it” for me like it does.  I’m sorry fellas (and ladies), it is what it is.  (I cringed typing that last part after the comma.)  The pandas aren’t all that bad, except for the Larry the Cable Guy references and a couple of others.  That and the whole Pandaria area is all about managing anger and feelings.  Over sensitive wankers are even taking over games now…  Annoyed I can’t fly there until I’m 90, but whatever.  Sadly, I can’t raid anymore.  Sitting for more than 2 hours is just out of the question for me anymore.  I can do dungeons, crafting, fly, do achievements, exploring, quests and loads of other stuff.  It’s basically what I was looking to do in a single player, except I still get the social interaction I want.  At least until I get back home to Michigan where I can visit friends face to face again and put together a garage band for fun.

Windows 8…  I’m still not a fan of Metro.  I don’t like it, I don’t use it and I think those responsible for it should be flogged naked in public.  Just so you know, I’m actually being nice about how I really feel about it.  Though I did actually upgrade both my desktop and my laptop with Windows 8.  As a tech I need to know it.  Like it or not.  Using Classic Shell, I can bypass Metro completely and it’s actually a rather nice OS outside of that.  If only Microsoft could see that.  I think they think they are setting a trend.  Although I think the sales records speak volumes of how the people think.  Then there are the calls I get from the poor unsuspecting bastards that just decided to buy a new PC unaware that there is a new version of Windows on the streets.  They call me and start with “What the hell is this shit?” as if it’s somehow my fault they see gigantic live squares of redundant bullshit.  I even had one guy ask when my company was going to fix the email problem (refering to the email app that only uses Windows Live mail accounts).  When I suggested downloading a free email client that would work, like Windows Live Mail, he got hostile.  (sigh)  People just don’t get it sometimes….  However, my official suggestion to friends and family is stick with Windows 7 or buy a Mac.  Don’t be a square ;-)   (hehe Mac should use that as an advertising campaign)

2013 and Beyond…

2013The new year is almost upon us.  The Mayan Apocalypse, just like so many “end of the world” threats before it, was nothing more than media hype as always.  I think at one point or another, I just stopped caring if the world would’ve ended on the 21st.  Well… That was a few months ago I felt that way.  I don’t feel that way now.

The past two years have been a hellacious torment in one form or another.  Between my marriage falling apart, being unhappy where I live, nearly dying and struggling constantly to keep my head above water has taken it’s toll on my soul.  Having nearly no friends in the area, it has felt like I’ve been isolated from everything and everyone.  It’s been very cold for having to live in this personal hell of mine.

If it weren’t for my oldest daughter’s kindness and my mother, I don’t honestly know where I would be right now.  If I would be at all.  Granted, my current situation isn’t by any means pleasant.  It is bearable at least.

HeartIt’s time to put that all behind me now and look to the future.  While the number 13 isn’t usually anyone’s lucky number.  I’m going to make it my lucky number.  I’ve worked damned hard to get myself back together over the past 10 months.  I’m exercising regularly and even though I constantly live in a small amount of pain and discomfort, I will continue to get better.  I sadly did not make my goal by Christmas of being under 300 pounds, but I’m damned close.  I will be under it soon.  I wish to get to 220 as a final goal and even then, I won’t stop walking and keeping active.  I plan to live for at least 10 more years if I can swing it.  More if possible.

2013 is also the year I’m going home to Michigan.  Perhaps not my home town, but at least close by.  My sons live in East Jordan, so somewhere near there with a job.  Perhaps Charlevoix or Petoskey, maybe even Boyne City or Boyne Falls area.  All are very close and I know them well.  My friends who live there as well as my family are waiting for me.  I’m way past due for this.  I won’t forget the family I have here, even though I’m no longer a part of the marriage that made them my family.  In my heart they will always be family no matter what.  Nor will I forget my one and only friend who lives here and has also been my Chiropractor for many years.

I also have a love interest that I’ve been working on for the past few months.  I’m hoping it will turn into something official soon.  More on that to come later ;-)

Sandstone DrakeSadly, since I still have a lot of time on my hands, I haven’t given up my gaming addiction completely, and I may never actually do so as I enjoy it.  However, I have cut way down on the amount of time I spend killing dragons.  I tried to give up World of Warcraft, I just can’t.  I enjoy it too much.  Even if there’s freaking panda bears everywhere….  I can sum it up in two words.  FLYING MOUNTS!!!

I officially restarted my account on Christmas Day.  I was just so freaking bored sitting at home.  Minecraft is cool and all, but I’ve gotta have my flying mounts and I love my Azeroth.  I just limit myself to an hour or two a day.  It’s enough to get a few things accomplished.  Then it’s back to the real world :)

One final note, as per usual, I have created a new look to my website for the new year.  It’s a bit dark.  It sort of represents my travels through the darkness these past two years.  While it’s now time to step back into the light, I just have a thing for Black and Gold.  If you can’t see the new site, because you are on your mobile, set your browser to ask for the Desktop version.  (just don’t forget to set it back when you’re done admiring :) )

Getting Better

Click for Larger Image

Click for Larger Image

Here’s how I look today. Fifty pounds lighter, and on my way back to being in good health. Even after 3 miserable heart attacks. I’m coming back kicking ass :)

Still walking daily, still eating good (95% ish).  I’ve got more determination than ever before!

Note: Couldn’t find a person willing to take a more recent pic of me (at least anyone that able to take a non-blurry shot). I know it’s probably idiotic for a guy to take a pic of himself in the mirror and all. Still, it looks loads better than the one from January.

30% Weight Loss

I haven’t written about this in a while.  My posts have been mostly focused on life events, my usual rants, future plans and reminiscing.  I assure you, I’m still doing my daily walks.  I am actively loosing weight and I’m happy to report I am 30% of my over all goal closer.

I’m going to post here what I’ve been hiding as it was embarrassing.  Still is, but dammit, I think it will only drive me harder to be this much more honest.  If to anyone, to myself.

When I started walking, I was an embarrassingly fat man who was on the scales for 360 pounds.  As of yesterday I am now down to 318lbs.  I’m not done, and I’m not nearly close to my target weight.  My short term goal is to be under 300 come Christmas.

I’m not doing 3 miles a day like I was doing.  For some reason, since my 3 heart attacks in February, I’ve only gotten up to 2 miles a day.  Not sure if it was the high blood pressure that had me going further or if I have just been weakened that much.  True, I unfortunately put on some weight after the hospital stay as I could hardly walk down the drive way.  (It’s roughly 1/5th of a mile long.)  Now I am back on track and feeling better than ever.  In so much, that I took on a second job slinging pizzas for Dominos to help save up to move next spring to Michigan.  It’s not because of their pizza. Haven’t been a fan of their stuff in many years.  Some of it is down right unhealthy.  (it’s coming and it’s scary bad for you)

Besides walking, I’ve also done the following and it’s helped out greatly (the only exceptions I allow myself is when I go out to eat):

  • Stopped using Mayonnaise and Miracle Whip (period, none, not even the light or fat free versions which are gross)
  • Replaced Hamburgers with Morning Star Farms Vegi-Burgers (various flavors)
  • Eat Yogurt and not Ice Cream (save for special occasions)
  • Turkey based meats (Oscar Meyers has a killer Turkey Polish Sausage)
  • Low Fat / Low Sodium sandwich meats
  • NO FRIED FOODS!!! – Baked or Boiled ONLY!!
  • Lowered food portions (not a lot, but I try not to get “full”, just “satisfied”)
  • Get away from the TV and Computer and do something whenever possible (not a cheap option sometimes)
  • Walking Daily (going through shoes at an alarming rate though)

I’ve tried some of the fake foods like imitation eggs and such, but they literally turn my stomach.  Sometimes it’s hard to go walking when it’s 100 degrees outside or really cold out.  Those days I just keep myself as busy as possible.  I still love my relaxing down time too, just don’t allow myself as much as I once did.  What makes me the most happy, is I haven’t resorted to surgery or special diet plans by someone named Jenny, Jerad or Vinnie or who the hell ever.

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Please just stop!

I cannot believe the stupid things we concern ourselves with in this country.  I’m so absolutely sick of signing on to my accounts to see the constant barrage of Gay Marriage (Pro/Con) issues, Bullying which is also coupled with whatever trivial mindlessness the media can dump down our throats.  Currently that would be the Olympics.

I cannot believe this is all we seem to give any consideration too.  Honestly, I can’t believe for one second that I am part of some minority group who also think there are far, far more important and immediate issues this country needs to address.  It simply boils my blood that we prefer to talk about where to buy a decent chicken sandwich because we don’t want to offend anyone.  That’s another thing.  What the hell is with all the overly sensitive people the past few years?!?!  It’s enough to drive someone insane!

Here’s my thoughts on the current topics and then I never want to hear about them again:

Gay Marriage

Honestly, as far as I’m concerned, Gay people can have marriage.  It hasn’t worked so well for straight people for several decades.

Bullying

I was, and several of my classmates were bullied when we were kids (teased, beat up and I remember being pelted with a can of vegetables in the back of the head once).  I still sometimes get teased because of my name.  I may have cried emotionally or in pain, but I haven’t committed suicide or shot someone over it.  I got over it.  Parents, take some damned responsibility for your children and teach them to handle the situation intelligently.  Today we don’t take the time to discipline children in nearly any faction.  They don’t fear reprisal, so they end up being the bullies, or they end up murdering or committing suicide from being the victims of bullying.  We didn’t have nearly this problem when mommy and daddy could whoop some behind for bad behavior.  Parents today also don’t seem to take the time to sit them down and help their children understand the shortcomings of others like our parents did.

The Olympics

This event has nearly bankrupt some countries who have hosted it in the past.  Sure it’s nifty that someone can ice skate all pretty, or flip around some bendy bars or do hand stands that many of us are incapable of doing.  But what does that do to help the worlds issues?  Might bring them some people joy or hope, but over all.  Nothing relevant.  There’s the old saying, put hope in one hand and defecate in the other.  See which hand gets a healthy dose of reality.


All of these issues are completely and utterly trivial as far as I’m concerned.  There are more important issues that this country needs to be concerned with and we need to put aside all the trivial issues to come up with answers to the following topics:  (These are in no particular order as they all are, as I feel , equally important.)

The Presidency

Obama promised us change.  Change he did bring.  I don’t recall him saying it would be good change.  So I guess he kept his word.  I hate the changes he brought.  I don’t want him in office this next election.  He brought us Obama Care.  But does he really?  However, I don’t like Mitt Romney either.  With the both of them campaigning, it’s like watching two clowns in full dress, with red noses and clown shoes, beat each other over the head with rubber chickens.  Why can’t there be a spot on the ballot to choose two new candidates?  As far back as I can remember, Jobs, Health Care and Income have always been on a Presidents plate.  Yet, term after term, promises and taxes later, the problems still exist.  We continue to have the problems and somehow still tolerate it.  I’m not understanding why.  Not that I know the fix, but doesn’t anyone else question why it’s still going on after all these years?

Jobless Rate

We keep outsourcing more and more.  I’ve talk about this before.  Soon we won’t have any jobs to offer.  If the products can be purchased online, we won’t have retail outlets for them soon.  Gas stations will be virtually unmanned.  Only jobs that will be left, will be governmental jobs and grocery stores.  I’m over exaggerating, but you get the idea.  This isn’t even close to including the issues of immigration, although they too won’t have any jobs soon either if this keeps up.

Income and Costs of Living

As a person who has worked in the tech field for over 18 years, I and my colleagues are still stuck in lower paying jobs since the whole outsource issue started in the early 2000′s.  There are many people in many fields of work in this same exact boat.  They have years of experience and do their jobs at an outstanding level, yet are so poorly compensated.  To find a better paying job at a parallel company is next to impossible.  In so much, that many of us still can’t afford a home, even with all the assistance in this world, the income is still too low.  While gas and food skyrocket in cost making each year making living harder and harder.  Personally I blame a lot of it on lack of local spending.  We do not support our community businesses like we should.  As well as we need to stop outsourcing everything.

Safety in Public

I guess this sort of relates to bullying.  Because these kids are shooting up kids in school, killing people at random in theaters.  Of course this also relates to the fact our educational systems are hurting and our local enforcement suffers from budget cuts as well.  But that’s OK, let’s just explore Mars while we cut education and law enforcement funding.  Yet, I don’t feel safe much these days trying to just catch a movie knowing some psycho can just waltz into a theater, whip out a gun and kill women, children and men without prejudice or remorse.  Some of my kids still go to college, I fear every day that some nut will just walk into a classroom and shoot them or stab them.  It’s hard to even walk through a parking lot anymore wondering if a child will be abducted or woman raped, or someone getting held up or shot just for shopping.  I am always looking around me when I take my walks for exercise, wondering if the person near me is about to rob me or harm me.  We shouldn’t have to live in this kind of fear.

Health Care

This topic is near and dear to my heart.  Literally.  Why is it that I can spend a 20 day vacation in the Caribbean and spend only a third of what it cost me to be in the hospital a couple of days?  I can’t even afford to take a vacation to the Grand Canyon, let alone one to the Caribbean!  The companies that run hospitals and medical supplies are unbelievably filthy rich!  They have to be.  Where does all that money go?  My doctor isn’t driving a golden McLaren and living in the Bahamas full time.  Someone, somewhere is getting a boat load of cash from all the insurance companies and patients.

Prescriptions

Also near and dear to my heart, is the medicines I must take daily now and pay for monthly.  Effient alone is roughly $250 per month.  Even with insurance, it’s $100 out of pocket.  Plus paying for the insurance, plus the 4 other medicines I pay for monthly.  What is this stuff made out of?  Plutonium?!?!  You’re telling me that a 10mg pill per day is worth over $8?  Someone is really filling their pockets with the paychecks of anyone who takes this medication.  I do get my Advair from Canada, oddly that costs $150 per month here, but if I get it from Canada, it’s almost a third of that cost.  So who’s screwing who over here?

So please just stop with all the stupid images, and protests of things that honestly should be taking a back seat to other more important issues.  Such as survivability of our own people in this country.  We are supposed to be the most powerful country, yet we are so close to having a large chunk of our population becoming hungry, homeless and dying.  A small chunk already are.

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