I’ve had some time now to really think about things. Now that the initial flames from my nearly fatal incident. That and everything else that was flooding my mind. All in all, it’s nearly over. Time for me to begin fresh one last time. I realize that I really only have a few years left in this world, and while I mean to squeeze out every last minute by losing weight, eating better, continue walking and being more active. Time to make new friends and re-embrace the family that loves me regardless of my recent situations. Everyone involved knows exactly what I mean by that. Those who don’t, simply need to ask me or watch and learn
For many years I’ve chased the dream of a wife and kids. Three failed marriages and many bad decisions later, I realize that perhaps I was just not cut out for it. Short of death, communications have been lacking. I love my kids regardless of what they may think of me. I love the kids that were never mine as if they were. They are all grown now and on to lives of their own. I wish them all the luck in the world not to repeat my mistakes. While to many this isn’t the highest of goals to achieve. However, the caveats are that, I never wanted to be rich. I was always happy so long as the bills were paid and I could come home to them every night. That was good enough for me, but it seems never good enough for the ones I chose as my partners. They always wanted more. For better or for worse meant nothing to them. When the worse came, they up and moved on. Claiming things like we grew apart. We didn’t grow apart, they simply wanted more financial stability. Proving repeatedly that money means more than love. I’m hurt emotionally, but I’m surviving. However I am changing my goals. I’m not changing who I am. I still welcome someone to love me. However they must love me as I am.
I want to finish my movie. Really it’s just a short film. Something I wrote the script for in 2007. I even went as far as finding voice actors on the net to cover the parts of the callers, the narrator and other fill-ins. The film itself is nearly done short of needing an actor, and two extras. A place to shoot, some props and an HD video camera with some software. OK, so it’s only half done. I stopped when I realized the equipment I bought was defective and couldn’t get the company Samsung to do anything about it. With lack of further funds to buy a new camera, I stopped the project and all but forgot about it. It’s time to dust the pages off, buy a new camera, find some college students eager to make YouTube gold.
It’s about a tongue and cheek look at a support tech and his typical day and how customers could make life so much easier by simply following some rules. The Ten Rules for Calling Tech Support. Anyone who has seen the script loved it. I’m sure it won’t win me any awards, it will still be a load of fun for everyone involved as well as those who watch the finished product. This is my first goal. Anyone who can contribute in any way are welcome to do so. Please contact me!
My second goal will require me to save up a few bucks first and buy an old used drum kit. Because I want to join a band. I don’t want to join a band trying to be famous like I did in years past. I just want the group of guys who get together on weekends and jam out in a garage or warehouse somewhere. Perhaps like in high school, perhaps play at private parties or small gatherings if we happen to be any good. This would be more of a social experience for me than a venture to make money. Relive the glory days a bit. I don’t think I’ll ever be as good as my son on the skins, though perhaps someday I can really sit down and show him his old man can and has. One thing I gave up to be the dad was my drum kit. So my children really never have seen or heard me play outside of a Drumscape machine at the Busch Gardens arcade. Rock on!
Six o’clock Sunday morning, and I just let the dog out. Started the coffee brewing. Just sat down and logged on to my PC to check for software and game addon updates. The same thing I do every weekend morning. Opened my email and this is the email I got:
Ready For This!
Your Going to be a Grandpa!! Misti found out last Tuesday and the baby will be due sometime between the end of October and November. If its a boy he will be Noah if its a girl either Ava Rae, or Mya Lou!
Just thought id give you a heads up. Hope to here from your soon!
Oddly the first thought that ran through my mind is. But I’m only 41 years old?!? Remember, don’t have any coffee in me yet and essentially I died 5 years ago, I’m only animated by caffeine and sugar, so my thought process is kind of stuck to a routine rather than instinct or cognitive brain processes.
I’m still worried about the teenager living at home, never even really thought about how near to being a grand parent in any faction. So it was the cold shower to my morning. But it’s true, I am the parent of a now 21 almost 22 year old man who is happily married to a wonderful woman. Why not have a baby? This is pretty cool. I may not have been the best Dad alive, but it’s a good feeling that my son has a family of his own now
Forty one is not the ideal age in which you realize exactly who you are. That’s how old I am. Sadly. I’ve never really had a solid footing on who I wanted to be and how I wanted my life to turn out. Until now that is.
Unfortunately now is a bit too late. My health isn’t great, I’m in a position that doesn’t afford me to bring home the quality bacon if you see my drift. I’m self taught at my profession. While I can run circles around most of the people in my industry, they have college degrees and certificates. Which is all any Human Resources is concerned about these days. It’s not like when I worked for Gateway and got paid for my level of true skill. But then the American Populous wanted cheaper computers, so outsourcing ended me where I am today.
Though it’s not only my profession, it’s the friends I chose, the relationships I’ve had, the raising of my children and so much more. I wish my life could have a “do over” so I can make the right choices, prevent health issues, and become a bit more of a success all around.
You could say “it’s not too late”. But frankly, there’s not a lot of time left for me. What I have is good. Though if I had the had the chance, I would jump at it. As long as I can take the basic knowledge of what I want to change about me.
This article is not an advertisement for Gateway. The author does not like Gateway products dated after 2000.
I realize I’m getting older and the “old man” jokes are already becoming tiresome, but what the hell is with people telling me that I know more about technology because I’m not as old as they are. This leads me to asking them how old they think I am. They guess in the early 30′s and I always reply with “I wish”. Then proceed to tell them that most of my kids are grown up and 2 of them are already married (NO GRAND KIDS YET PLEASE!!!!).
Then I got to thinking, none of my kids got into technology. Well 1 got into playing MMORPG games, but that doesn’t make her knowledgeable about technology. She still can’t operate her digital video camera properly. So, there’s an example of a young generation not getting with it.
Also, 90% of the people who helped me become as knowledgeable as I am, are considerably older than me. Not too mention, that computers started long before I ever got into it. So, there’s an example of older generations who know more than I do.
So what does age have to do with technology? You can learn at any age! I’m not young and I’m not old. I just have a sincere interest in technology. Therefore I learn it. You can too, if you’re interested.