Things Your Burglar Won’t Tell You

Having been robbed, and being an ex-thief myself, there are things one should remember to do.  It’s a real pain in the ass, but make it a habit to walk around your house before leaving or going to bed; to make sure all doors and windows are locked.  Remember that having a nice house and a nice yard is an invitation for not-so-nice people to take notice.

I live in Williamsburg, and sadly, there is a ghetto and I managed to move into it.  Sometimes we forget about crime.  Even honest people though need to think like a criminal in order to prevent being robbed of your possessions and having them quickly sold for someone else drug habit or to pay their bills.  Having been on the bad side, I can tell you the following are all true:

(By the way I did not write these, but I easily could have.)

  1. Of course I look familiar. I was here just last week cleaning your carpets, painting your shutters, or delivering your new refrigerator.
  2. Hey, thanks for letting me use the bathroom when I was working in your yard last week. While I was in there, I unlatched the back window to make my return a little easier.
  3. Love those flowers. That tells me you have taste… and taste means there are nice things inside. Those yard toys your kids leave out always make me wonder what type of gaming system they have.
  4. Yes, I really do look for newspapers piled up on the driveway. And I might leave a pizza flyer in your front door to see how long it take you to remove it.
  5. If it snows while you’re out of town, get a neighbor to create car and foot tracks into the house. Virgin drifts in the driveway are a dead giveaway.
  6. If decorative glass is part of your front entrance, don’t let your alarm company install the control pad where I can see if it’s set. That makes it too easy.
  7. A good security company alarms the window over the sink. And the windows on the second floor, which often access the master bedroom – and your jewelry. It’s not a bad idea to put motion detectors up there too.
  8. It’s raining, you’re fumbling with your umbrella, and you forget to lock your door – understandable. But understand this: I don’t take a day off because of bad weather.
  9. I always knock first. If you answer, I’ll ask for directions somewhere or offer to clean your gutters. (Don’t take me up on it.)
  10. Do you really think I won’t look in your sock drawer? I always check dresser drawers, the bedside table, and the medicine cabinet.
  11. Here’s a helpful hint: I almost never go into kids’ rooms.
  12. You’re right: I won’t have enough time to break into that safe where you keep your valuables. But if it’s not bolted down, I’ll take it with me.
  13. A loud TV or radio can be a better deterrent than the best alarm system. If you’re reluctant to leave your TV on while you’re out of town, you can buy a $35 device that works on a timer and simulates the flickering glow of a real television. (Find it at http://www.faketv.com/)
  14. Sometimes, I carry a clipboard. Sometimes, I dress like a lawn guy and carry a rake. I do my best to never, ever look like a crook.
  15. The two things I hate most: loud dogs and nosy neighbors.
  16. I’ll break a window to get in, even if it makes a little noise. If your neighbor hears one loud sound, he’ll stop what he’s doing and wait to hear it again. If he doesn’t hear it again, he’ll just go back to what he was doing. It’s human nature.
  17. I’m not complaining, but why would you pay all that money for a fancy alarm system and leave your house without setting it? (My own note, most alarms can be disabled by simply unplugging the telephone jack on the customer side of the phone box outside or cutting the line.  The system will simply think that phone service was interrupted and not make a false alarm over it.  Not all alarms are prone to this but it’s always worth locking the phone box and making sure no phone wires are exposed outside.)
  18. I love looking in your windows. I’m looking for signs that you’re home, and for flat screen TVs or gaming systems I’d like. I’ll drive or walk through your neighborhood at night, before you close the blinds, just to pick my targets.
  19. Avoid announcing your vacation on your Facebook page. It’s easier than you think to look up your address.
  20. To you, leaving that window open just a crack during the day is a way to let in a little fresh air. To me, it’s an invitation.
  21. If you don’t answer when I knock, I try the door. Occasionally, I hit the jackpot and walk right in.

Sources: Convicted burglars in North Carolina, Oregon, California, and Kentucky; security consultant Chris McGoey, who runs http://www.crimedoctor.com/ and Richard T. Wright, a criminology professor at the University of Missouri-St. Louis, who interviewed 105 burglars for his book Burglars on the Job.

Keeping a can of Pepper Spray can also help prevent a successful crime and also prevent sexual assault.

Also, I’d finally like to thank Doc for sending me this.  It’s the one forwarded junk email that was actually useful :)

Short URL: http://gden.net/2q

2 Responses to Things Your Burglar Won’t Tell You

  • Wasp spray for self defense is a bad idea. It is a myth! Stick with the Pepper Spray. Wasp spray is unproven and has never been tested on humans. Wasp Spray will NOT work on those who cannot feel pain i.e. drugs or alcohol. Pepper Spray is an inflammatory which will cause the eyes to slam shut no matter the situation. That’s why over 40,000 law enforcement agencies carry it nationwide and even the smallest canisters will fire 10 ft while the larger canisters will fire 25 to 30 ft.

  • Thank you for informing me of this, I have removed the info. Never had to deal with Pepper Spray, but in the Navy I had to go through a Tear Gas exercises in boot camp. If it’s anything like it, a person can overcome the effects rather easily if they don’t panic.

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